Resonance – Episode 67
Verbatim Transcript
Speaker: Viktoria Levenberg
We live in a pretty deregulated world. Like, let's be real, a lot of people don't actually tangibly
understand what it means. You know what? This later might never come. And the truth is that
you don't have the time because you make the time.
Chances are you can relate that this is uncomfortable AF. We focus a lot on the seen versus the
unseen, and slowing down is scary.
How many times have you told yourself this sentence? Oh, it would be so nice to just take a break
and rest for a moment or, like, practice some self-care, but that's just like putting another thing
on my to-do list that I don't have time for.
And maybe you've even tried to schedule it in, only to delete that hopeful, wishful invite from
your calendar five minutes before it's due.
If any of this sounds familiar, you are gonna love what I've got in store for you today, because in
today's episode, you're gonna hear about exactly why high achievers just like you resist the thing
that they need most and what it is that you can do about it right now.
Let's dive in.
Welcome to Resonance, the podcast for high performers and entrepreneurs who want to do life,
work, and success differently. I am your host, Viktoria Levenberg, and I'm obsessed with
efficiency, productivity, and planning in a way that harnesses your energy and your natural
rhythms while keeping you in alignment and integrity. Because I have figured out that lasting
success is not about the hustle. It is about being in resonance. Let's begin.
At the time of the recording of this video, this couldn't be more poignant than, like, I would could
have even imagined. Like, I couldn't have planned this better, and this is coming from the
planning queen herself, OK?
So, time of the recording of this video, I'm in this, like, real time of uncertainty, integration, and
not actually having a crystal-clear plan for what's next. And I don't know about you, if you're the
type of person that likes planning and control and knowing what's coming, chances are you can
relate that this is uncomfortable AF.
And as I embrace this season, I'm really stepping into embracing more slowness, more
spaciousness in my life, and it feels like every cell in my body is resisting it. It's like, no, go away.
What, what the F is this BS?
And I realised that if I'm feeling this way, then so are you. And so, like, no wonder you're
constantly just go, go, go, because that's what's familiar, that's what's safe. And, like, slowing
down is scary because we haven't done it for a long time, and that means letting go of control,
and it means things might go wrong, and it means that our perfectionist self might not be perfect
and get told that she is a good girl and did good enough and get all the praise in the world and
collect the gold stars and the awards.
And, oh my God, it's like when then that ripples out into my identity, who am I? Holy moly. All of
a sudden we're talking, like, identity-level shifts here. Like, and you thought we were just gonna
talk about self-care. No.
So, as we prepare for this week's episode, which is, I think, gonna be quite a perspective-shifting
one for a lot of you, um, I wanted to ask you a question.
Do you think that you will achieve your biggest, wildest goals that will unlock the time and
financial freedom that you so deeply crave and desire? For example, you know, whether it's the
6, seven figure business, the big promotion at work, the dream house with the white picket
fence, whatever it is that you envisage as that, like, final destination for yourself.
Do you really think that you're gonna achieve that from a depleted, unresourced state of just
sacrifice and go, go, go?
You tell me.
I think it's a no. No, no, it's a big fat no, because it doesn't work. The version of you who has
achieved those dreams demands a different version of you, because it demands you to be at your
best.
And there's, like, this concept I teach in a lot of my master classes and, and also inside my
programs around alignment and how we focus a lot on the seen versus the unseen. And anyway,
I'll speak to this in just a moment, but I just wanted to really highlight that the version of you
that's achieved the things that you say you want in life is gonna demand you to operate from a
different state, a different frequency.
And yet most of us are barely getting through the day. We're just in survival mode. Why do you
think that is? 'Cause you're easy to control, easier to sell you shit. Like, sorry for swearing, but,
like, it, it's a fact. It's, it's easier to keep you in fear and scarcity and keep you small rather than
you living into your true power.
You are so powerful beyond your wildest imagination when you reclaim the energy leaks and the
power and the things that you have been leaving and leaking all over, and you get it back and
truly embody the authority, the power that you are.
Oh my God, you're unstoppable. Yeah, those dreams are freaking inevitable, my friend. But it's
gonna take a different version of you to get there, and that's what we're gonna talk about today.
Because by the end of this episode, you will know exactly how to trick your little type A high
achieving brain into giving it the R&R that it desperately craves, so strongly resists, and yet truly
needs for its next level of performance, so that you can stop running on empty and finally let
yourself breathe again without sacrificing your results or performance as a result.
So let's dive in.
OK, I promised you alignment, and I wasn't actually planning to speak about alignment, but this is
what's coming through, so we are gonna share it. And I'm conscious this is a podcast. You're
listening to my voice. I don't have slides. Um, I could half slides and kind of show you what I
mean, but you're just gonna have to come to one of my master classes to get that or, um,
obviously join the priority list for Efficiency Made Easy because I teach this in much more depth
inside my programs.
But just to help you kind of visualise what I'm talking about here, the personal development
industry throws the word alignment out there a lot, and a lot of people don't actually tangibly
understand what it means.
So we're going to speak to that in just a moment, because you see, when it comes to alignment,
the way that I see it is alignment or coherence between your big goals or the results that you say
you wanna achieve and who you are being.
And you see, most people focus on the visible layer. It's like, show me what to do. Give me the
step-by-step process and the instructions and the to-dos and blah, whatever.
And they're completely ignoring the invisible layer, which is who you are being, which I could
teach for, like, three hours on this, but without getting too deep into the rabbit hole, it is your
nervous system, your emotions, your thoughts and beliefs. All of these things shape your identity,
how you show up in the world, and the person that you are being is then the person who's doing
the doing, which is the actions that you take, which inevitably feed the results that you receive.
So, of course, if the person who you are being is this, like, frantic, scattered, frazzled, chaotic,
time poor workaholic—sorry to, like, point some fingers at people, myself included sometimes—
and yet the result that you wanna have is, like, this spacious, time freedom, abundant freaking
queen, and a bit of misalignment happening, right?
And so we're gonna unpack that a little bit more today, and I'm gonna start to help you see
specific areas where you can trick that little high-achieving brain of yours to begin to embody
that version of you who's already achieved the goals that you say you wanna achieve in a way
that doesn't feel like you were wanting to crawl out of your own skin.
Because there is a reason why that's happening, and the main reason is that high achievers often
equate their worth with success.
Myself included. It's like, how, how good does it feel to achieve things? How good does it feel to,
like, I did the thing. Oh my God, I can't believe I did it. I did the thing.
But then let me tell you something else. How often do you actually let yourself enjoy the feeling
of the success? Does it feel like it's enough? Do you ever look back and you're like, oh my God,
I'm so amazing. I can't believe I just did that. Or is it more like, yeah, obviously I should have done
that. That's just my base expectation. It's like, whatever, move on to the next thing.
Cause a lot of the high-achieving women that I speak to is the ladder, unfortunately, and that's
just part of the natural wiring that comes with being so type A.
And what happens is that, you know, our, our brain loves dopamine. Dopamine is like one of the
best drugs out there that is naturally induced. And yes, of course, we get a dopamine hit from,
you know, like sugar and all these things, which is why it's so addictive.
But for high achievers specifically, it can be so good to tick a box. Oh my god, like, it's just so sexy.
Hahaha.
I don't know if you can relate to that, but, like, man, I love me a completed to-do list. Give me
more of those boxes and I will tick them because it feels good.
And what also feels quite counterintuitive, but you'll see it as soon as you start to, like, observe
and zoom out how you're living your life, is to be busy and to be constantly doing something.
And it's like, I see myself fall into this trap as well. It's like, I'll have five minutes of free time. I'm
like, how can I fill it up? Okay, let me unload the dishwasher or let me vacuum part of this house
or whatever.
And there's this context switching that happens, and it's this, like, busy work of false productivity.
I'm like, oh, look at me, look at all the things that I did. I'm so
Amazing. And there's a boom, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine.
And then, like, pair that with obviously the sense of worth that we get from taking boxes and
doing things and achieving things and, and being a martyr to our family or our customers or our
work or whatever. I mean, like, oh, I'm doing so much more than everyone else. Look at how
much I'm struggling.
And then pair that with the adrenaline hit that we get from urgency, deadlines, running late. It's
like, oh, I know this project is due tomorrow and I'm, I'm, I haven't, I, I haven't quite started yet,
but I know I'm gonna get there, but I don't need to do it yet. And then you're like, oh my God, I
need to get it done ASAP.
And it's like, oh, that adrenaline of, like, it's like driving to that appointment and your Google
Maps says it's gonna take you nine minutes and the appointment's in 10 minutes. You're like, am
I gonna get there? Am I gonna make it? It's like a little game with yourself.
So just know that there is actually, like, some deeper patterns running beneath the shows that
are also, like, biochemical reactions in your brain that are literally supporting or setting you up for
these patterns that are actually holding you back.
And the biggest reason behind this, and it always, always, always, always comes back to the
nervous system, which is your body's wiring. It is the operating system that really runs the show.
It regulates your breathing, your digestion, your heart rate. It feeds your emotional state, which
feeds your thoughts and beliefs, which feeds the actions you take, which results in the tangible
3D results that you have.
And the thing with the nervous system, first of all, we live in a pretty deregulated world. Like, let's
be real, okay? And when I say regulation, by the mean, by the way, I don't mean, like, being calm
and chill and peace and guru vibes 24/7, okay?
Like, right now, as I'm, like, excited and sharing these things with you, I'm still regulated. I can still
feel my feet. One foot's touching my footrest, the other one's touching my chair. I can feel that
the back of my right shoulder blades got a little bit of pain in it. I can feel my breath. I can feel the
cold on my fingertips because it's the middle of winter here in New Zealand at the time of
recording of this episode.
So, like, I'm still present in my body. And I can be excited and you can be angry and still be
regulated because you're healthily processing emotion.
So just before you dismiss me and think that being regulated in your nervous system is just being
calm and chill in peace and meditation, like, no. It's the ability to ebb and flow between the two
states.
And the truth is that your nervous system, uh, likes to follow familiar patterns. So the pattern of
go, go, go, ticking boxes, achieving things, running to deadlines, urgency, taking more than you
think you can take, and then proving and somehow pulling a rabbit out of a hat, being the golden
child yet never actually feeling like that inside, these are all familiar patterns that are running the
show.
And even though you might say, I wish I could slow down. I wish I could just take a break. I wish I
could just take the day off and do nothing. Your nervous system is gonna perceive that as a threat
because it's unfamiliar, because you haven't done it before.
And to your nervous system, which is literally wired for your survival, it is the wiring that has
preserved humankind for as long as we have existed, anything that's unfamiliar is a threat until
you slowly titrate your way into it and be like, no, no, no, no, this is okay. This is safe. You are okay.
We're just going to try something new here. You are not in danger. This is not a big sabre-toothed
tiger, if that's a thing, trying to get you. You're, you're OK. This is just trying something different.
And one of my mentors is Kate Northrup, who I am just so deeply grateful for on so many levels.
She has influenced my life in so many ways, more than I can count, um, once said that your
nervous system will prefer a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
So that means that your nervous system will prioritise the familiar hell of exhaustion, fatigue,
chaos, urgency, hustle, burnout, and overwhelm because that's what it knows, over the
unfamiliar heaven of calm and rest and spaciousness and joy and fun and fulfilment.
And once you understand that, you can cut yourself a little bit of slack, because there's nothing
wrong with you. You're not, like, wired differently. There's, you're not failing at life. You're just
living life the best way you know how with the tools you've been given available, with the
strategies you develop to survive based on your upbringing and your conditioning and your
environment and the day-to-day demands that you have now.
And chances are that if you're listening to this episode and you have found me and you're still
here, is that you're starting to see that there is another possibility for you. You're opening up your
eyes to other ways in which perhaps your success and your achievement can coexist with
spaciousness and fulfilment. And that's what we're here about.
And myself included, like, I know I'm talking about a lot of these things here and I share a lot of
stories, you know, from lived experience and, and from education and, and all these things. And
it's not to put me on a pedestal because I'm walking this path alongside you.
Like, I go through my own stuff. The journey never ends. If anyone's still trying to so sell you, like,
this thing of, like, you just need this and then you're gonna be completely healed, they're just
trying to sell you the thing. Like, it doesn't exist. That the journey is gonna continue to be the
journey.
It's just your responsibility to find the right people to walk alongside you, to help support you the
way, to be your supporters, your way showers, who maybe have gone through what you are
going through right now and can nudge you in the right direction.
And I listened to a podcast, like, not even a week ago, that I will link to the show notes of this
episode because it freaking blew my mind. And I actually thought it was so funny because as I
was preparing for this episode and I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna talk about this podcast, make
sure I link it up in the show notes, I was doing my little admin prep.
Um, I saw that, like, not too long ago, um, not too many weeks ago, one of my guests, which is
one of my closest friends, spoke about that same book, and I, like, linked it up in the show. And it
was like, oh yeah, sounds good, but I just wasn't ready to hear it yet.
So this is also, like, your permission slip to be like, just let the information and everything I'm
sharing with you today just wash over you, and just trust that you're gonna walk away with
whatever it is that you need to hear and receive today.
And it's not about perfection. It's not about ticking all the boxes. It's about you're just here to
receive right now.
And the podcast that I'm talking about, which I am gonna link up in the show notes, is by the
author of the book Die With Zero, Bill Perkins. And he came on to this podcast and he was talking
about the book and his philosophy and blew my mind.
Like, I'm buying the book and I'm gonna read it ASAP because I'm, it, it just resonated so strongly.
Um, and if you're wondering which of my podcast episodes I recently mentioned that book, it's
with my friend Jesse Robertson, where we were talking about, like, money versus time versus
energy and, and true wealth. Um, so I'll link that up as well in case you're interested.
He's, he's an amazing person to listen to and, um, super smart financial advisor who, like, just lays
it out to you straight.
And back to Bill Perkins, that episode, like, in general, really blew my mind and gave me a lot of
things to ponder on because he talks about the memory dividend, like, the, uh, value of your life
experiences versus just, you know, always sacrificing for later and always delaying gratification,
etcetera.
And a lot of it really hit home, but there was one specific point that made me stop in my tracks. I
still remember I was, like, painting my numbers as I was listening to the podcast episode, and I
had to pause it, stop everything I was doing, and, like, interrupt my partner as he was having his
own downtime.
Like, okay, are you available to listen to this? Made him listen to, like, the whole 10-minute
excerpt because it just had such a profound impact on me.
I'm gonna share it with you now as well because it's very much tied into the theme of what we're
talking about, which is why high achievers find it so freaking hard to rest, relax, and enjoy their
life.
And what Bill speaks about is how, you know, a lot of people who achieve, quote unquote,
success in the material, tangible 3D sense of the world, um, have done so through a lot of
sacrifice. Most commonly, you know, it's like we can conquer the world. We know how to work
hard. We know how to get our head down and do the thing, you know, and, and find the
successful business, try and try and try again, climb the corporate ladder, whatever it is.
Like, whatever you define as success, like, you know how to work hard, right? And so you know
how to flex that hustle muscle, and so you've been pushing and grinding and, and just striving to
get there.
And then you arrive, and then you get there, and what happens is that you've been so hyper-
focused on just that one area of your life that the other parts of your brain, like enjoyment of life,
rest, spaciousness, they have, they start to atrophy. They start to slowly die off. That's literally
what atrophy is because you're not using them, right?
Like what, like, it's just like a muscle. You know what happens to someone who's bedridden, can't
use their legs for a few weeks? They start to lose muscle. You don't use it, you lose it. It's the
same thing.
And I'm going through this myself in real time. Like, I've recently been so blessed to receive more
abundance in my life than I have ever had the privilege of receiving thus far, and with that comes
agency
With that comes a lot of different levels of pressure that I'm putting on myself, and with that also
comes freedom that I haven't tasted for years.
And with that freedom, all of a sudden, it shook me awake and was like, whoa, the patterns of
scarcity, of sacrifice, of hustle, of not deservingness, of unworthiness, all that ish came up.
And I was like, yeah, you know, Bill use this analogy of someone going to the gym for the first
time on January 1st. It's hard AF because everything hurts, you're not used to it, you feel like an
outsider, you're like, what do you do?
And it's the same thing for high achievers who are just so used to running on empty and doing
the thing that has to be done because you're gonna do what needs to happen first before you
actually enjoy yourself, that then when it's like, OK, cool, like, time to enjoy yourself.
Huh? What? What is that? What do I do? Wait, me? Put, put me first? Self-care? Self? Who is this
self that I have to care for?
And I just wanted to share that with you because it was really impactful for me. I don't know if I
articulated that well, but, um, oh, you know, it's as a, as an achieving, ambitious, capable woman
who has gotten used to delaying gratification for later, it sort of was this rude awakening that,
you know what, this later might never come.
And even now I'm, like, pushing some edges, pushing some boundaries. Like, on one level, I'm
like, I know I have the ability, the resources, the capacity to do this. And then on the other hand,
there's, like, that old part of me that's slowly dying away. Like, oh my god, it just feels like it's an
ego death. It feels uncomfortable. It feels like a part of me is just, like, ugh, emerging out and
wants to, like, just go away into a deep, dark hole and have everything stay the same because
that's what brings me back to that damn nervous system.
This is growth. Growth is uncomfortable. If you are in my world, you are listening to this podcast,
my friend, whether you like it or not, you are on the growth team. So buckle up, cause you're in
for a wild ride, and it is the ride of a lifetime.
And so if you, like myself, are part of the Workaholics Anonymous Club, and fun and play are, like,
foreign words to you that maybe you tinkered with every now and again, but then as soon as you
kind of, like, try and give yourself permission to do more of it, it's like, ah, then just know that it's
OK.
And, um, I don't know what your story is, um, but I, just a little side Tangent, just to give you a bit
more context as to the, the why behind this, um, you know, I, I don't think I've ever shared this
story publicly before, but might be time, um.
When I was young and, uh, after my parents got divorced, moved countries, all the things, and I, I
grew up into a family, you know, of, of people who really valued worth and work over everything,
and success was measured by output, all those things.
And I was, I vividly remember I was, like, 8 or nine years old. I, I was before around the age of 10,
maybe at the latest, and I had, like, all the toys in the world. It was like, oh my God, I love to play. I
just, I was such a creative, like, just lively kid.
And I got forced to donate most, if not all, of my toys.
And I just remember it was the most heartbreaking thing ever because with that moment, the
part of me that was allowed to play and have fun and joy just slowly died and slipped away.
And then from then on, in my free time, I was working. What free time? I didn't have any free
time. I was just, I was working. I was basically, you know, going through child labour. Haha. You
know, we all go through child labour, but it was, it was pretty extreme.
And while my friends were enjoying their birthday parties and their weekends and their play
dates and all the things, and I was, like, painting walls and deep cleaning kitchens.
So it's, it's deeply ingrained. It's a deeply ingrained pattern. And I just want you to know that no
matter what your story is, no matter where this pattern originated, just know that be gentle with
yourself.
Because as you start to look to trick your high-achieving Type A brain to give it the rest and
restoration that it craves and needs so that you can actually achieve the big goals that you set out
to achieve for yourself, you gotta, you gotta take it slow.
And so I'm gonna share with you some of the things that have worked for me, that I'm, like,
playing with in real time, some that I have leveraged for a long time as well. And I'm also gonna
tell you what doesn't work so you can kind of cut yourself some slack and stop trying to push ish
uphill.
But the first one I'm kind of already alluding to, it's titration. So start small. Um, and so for those
of you who are not familiar with the term of titration, it is sort of like doing the minimum viable
dose and only increasing in small pieces.
So this is where I see a lot of people fail at goals or, like, new habits or things that they're trying
to achieve because they're just trying to overhaul their life overnight.
Again, I've been there as well, myself included. Again, the perfectionist kind of tries to come in,
but that's not sustainable because it's like, it's too much. It's too unsafe for your nervous system.
It is, like, such a disruptor to your life that it's not sustainable.
You just revert back to your old ways or even go back a few steps back to just soothe your
nervous system and give it something that's familiar.
So start small, okay? Like, we're not here to overhaul our whole life. I'm not asking you to quit
your job and go on a three-month sabbatical, but it's like, can you give yourself the evening off?
And before you even do anything, this is the second piece which has worked for me and I've been
playing with recently as well, and it's been quite fun, is just to, like, start to dare to dream and
vision and imagine and ideate what slowness and spaciousness and rest and relaxation could be
for you without committing to any of it yet.
It's just, like, ideating.
So again, like, similarly, um, in, in my life, like, I've, I've in this chapter of, like, just abundance and,
ah, so much freedom, and, like, wow, like, I have all this freedom. Like, what do I wanna do?
And, and because that part of the brain has atrophied for such a long time, like, first I really
struggled to even identify any ideas because I've just, like, pushed it away. It wasn't even an
option.
And then all of a sudden there's, like, oh, that's right, I wanted to do this thing. And, oh, there
was this program that I wanted to join. Or, oh, that's right, I had this little idea or dream.
And they slowly start to pop in, and then just playing with the fact that it's like, oh, like, this is a
possibility. This is actually something I can entertain rather than pushing it away and being like,
this is never gonna happen. You don't have time for this shit.
Just give yourself permission. Be like, oh, what would it be like if that was part of my routine?
What would it be like if I was that spacious woman who does have time to practice yoga or
meditate or whatever it is that you wanna do, right?
And so that's the second piece, is just, like, starting to get your brain familiar with just
entertaining the idea, which brings me to the third piece, is like, once you feel ready to start
small, this is so undervalued and yet so massively effective, is just having some kind of
accountability partner in your life.
Now that could be a friend, it could be your spouse, your loved one, your parents, a buddy. Just
sharing out loud that you have the intention of doing something changes everything because
hopefully you are a person of your word. You have integrity. Your word has power.
When you say something that you're gonna do, you're gonna do it and follow through, and if not,
you're gonna own it. And so having that accountability partner goes a long way.
And if you wanna take it a step further, actually having a teacher or a mentor by your side is, like,
next level.
So again, like, tangible example from my life right now is, um, this year, you know, I've been
reconnecting with the piano again, which is something that I loved in my childhood.
And then, as every teenager does, I was like, oh, I don't wanna do this. This is boring. This is
stupid. Now I'm like, oh, I wish I kept at it.
And so I've been, like, playing these songs and teaching myself again, and I got to a point where I
was like, if I just keep doing this, I'm gonna so easily get sucked into the trap of, like, oh, I'll do it
later. I don't have the time for this. I gotta work. I'll do this first. You know, again, delaying
gratification, sacrificing my joy for something more productive.
Because I actually, like, as soon as I sit down on the piano and actually start playing, like, nine
times out of 10, I, like, just get sucked in, and I'm so into it. I'm having so much fun.
And so I'm like, okay, I want more of this in my life, and I also want to get better. Like, again, hello,
I'm an achiever in the house. Like, you can get better. You can improve your skills in things that
bring you joy that have literally no end goal in mind.
Um, and so I was like, I'm gonna find myself a teacher. And I dreamt of it, like, not physically in my
sleep, but I just, like, you know, I started to ideate.
I was like, okay, maybe I still wish, and I'm sure it is out there somewhere, and when the time is
right, you know, when the student is ready
The teacher will appear.
That there was, like, some kind of, like, online community of, like, just amateur piano players
which, like, get songs and we get together and maybe get some drills, and there's accountability.
Like, this is something that I, like, I would love so, so much.
And, um, I started to look for it, couldn't really find anything. I was like, hmm, okay, maybe,
maybe not. Just keep at it.
And then, as I said, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear, right? Crazy story.
Um, I was dealing with, like, some paperwork for, um, we, we were selling a home overseas, and
it was in Germany, and documents had to get notarised, all the things. And it was just all, there
was a lack of communication. There was a compressed timeline and just, yeah, the embassy was
being more difficult than it had to be, which meant that I had a lot of life admin to navigate.
And it got to a crunch point where I was like, if I don't sign these documents and this thing
doesn't arrive on time, it is literally gonna put everything at risk.
And so because I'm a type A achiever, I'm like, I don't take no for an answer. I was like, I was real
persistent, and I freaking showed up at the embassy with no appointment. I was like, I'll just sit
here and wait until this person lets me in and we sort this out.
And low and behold, we did, which, like, the craziest day because I arrived there, um, and they
had to clear the office because they had this impromptu audit. It was like I was, like, the last
person she was able to see, and it was just like she just received the confirmation from the, the
embassy that it was okay, like, minutes before she let me in.
It was just like everything in the universe aligned divinely, you know. It was, it was wild. I was so
grateful.
And in that moment, um, as, as, like, we're doing all the paperwork and I'm making small talk
cause I'm, like, so grateful, like, oh my God, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this
means to me. Like, you have literally saved this whole process.
Um, I'm, like, trying to get to know the person. What you do? Like, what are you up to? You know,
just, like, sucking up as I do.
And turns out this person is a piano teacher.
I was like, oh, no way. I'm like, I'm actually looking for a piano teacher. And we exchanged
numbers.
And then, you know, a few months passed, and at the time of the recording of this episode, I'm
basically 48 hours post my first ever piano lesson in New Zealand, my first piano lesson in 18
years since my OG piano teacher kind of chose to move countries after, um, teaching me.
And wow, it was just amazing. Like, I have goosebumps running through my entire body right now
because doing something that gives me so much joy and pleasure just for the pure enjoyment of
it, having a teacher or a mentor there for accountability and practice, and now that I'm seeing
this woman every week, yeah, f yeah, I'm gonna be sitting down in front of my piano more
frequently because I don't wanna be showing up there every week and have nothing to show for
it.
You know, like, I wanna show progress.
And this is the cool thing as well, is, like, she even mentioned it. She was like, oh yeah, you're
pretty good. And, you know, like, unless you have, like, some recital that you wanna, like, practice
for, like, you're doing good where you can just kind of keep things going.
And I was like, yeah, like, this is the first container in which my type A achiever brain was like, I'm
not here to tick a box. I'm not here to get an award. I'm not here for the grand showcase. I'm just
here to do it for the pure joy of doing it and having that teacher or mentor to guide me on that
journey.
Man that’s next level.
So I know this kind of side story went down a little bit of a longer Tangent than I intended, but
really super, super powerful.
And that brings me to the other little trick for your high-achieving brain to give it the R&R that it
needs, is to track your progress.
Um, you know, especially if you're like me and you love ticking boxes and, like, that dopamine hit
that it gives you, create a system or a habit tracker or, or whatever that helps you see the
progress that you're making.
Because, again, as a high achiever especially, we are our biggest inner critics. We don't see the
level of capability and performance and amazingness at which we operate day in, day out
because we're so damn hard on ourselves.
Like, I interviewed a few of you, um, recently, who are so gracious to donate your time, and I'll,
and, and I heard a few of you say, I was like, I wouldn't say I'm a high achiever. Like, I'm ambitious,
but I don't think I achieve a lot.
And then you tell me, like, your career story and everything you've achieved. I'm like, are you
kidding me? It's like, this is literally a high achiever being hard on themselves for not thinking that
they're a high achiever.
Um, and so with that in mind, like, if you track your progress in whatever way works for you, that
is just gonna satisfy that dopamine hit and give you that sense of progress and help you keep
going on the days where maybe you don't feel like it.
So whether that is through ticking boxes and having consistency, or, like, I like to record myself
playing the piano so I can hear the difference in the song, you know, a couple months after
practising it.
Or even, like, I'll do this with my, um, paint my numbers. I'll, like, take little progress photos. I'm
like, oh my God, look at how far I came.
Um, so that's really cool.
And so those are kind of, like, little tips that are hopefully helpful for you to begin to invite a little
bit more R&R, rest, relaxation, self-care into your life, even if you're a high achiever who doesn't
want to sacrifice her results for it.
Titration. Start small. Start to ideate, dream, and imagine what it could be before actually
committing. And then when you are ready to commit, get yourself an accountability partner, a
teacher, or a mentor, and track your progress.
Here's the thing that didn't work for me, and I know I'm the planning and productivity queen.
You're gonna be like, what? But I'm just gonna be honest.
Scheduling in this sort of stuff didn't work for me. I tried it. I tried it multiple times. Every time it
felt like a chore and something I had to do.
It's like, okay, I've been waiting for 10 minutes, just 20 more to go, and then what's next? You
know, like, it takes away the joy of it.
Like, this, it, it, it gets rid of that joie de vivre that we're here for. Let it be spontaneous. Let it
arise. Let the Shakti kind of just move through you and experience a life itself.
Don't make this another thing that you have to do because that is the fastest way to not doing it,
in my personal experience.
So as we bring this to a close, you might be thinking, Vik, I'm too busy. I don't have the time.
Where am I gonna fit this all in? Like, I can barely survive through the day, and this is, like,
another thing to do.
I get it because I have had that same thought and resistance come up for me all the time. It has
taken me years to sit down in front of the piano again. It has taken me years to sit down and
paint and do these things.
I almost cancelled that piano lesson four times because I was telling myself the same story that
I'm too busy.
And just hear me when I say that it is your beautiful, amazing, capable brain and ego that is trying
to trick you so it keeps you safe and stuck in the familiar patterns.
Cause remember, your nervous system is always gonna prioritise a familiar hell over an unfamiliar
heaven.
And the truth is that you don't have the time because you make the time. What's on your
calendar is what's actually important to you.
I know, like, I'm just contradicting myself with the freaking scheduling things part, but you know
what I mean. Like, are you gonna be in integrity and follow through on your word and say that,
okay, you said I want more of this in my life. This is important to me, so I'm gonna follow through
and do it.
I can't make that decision for you. Only you can. It is your life after all.
But your time and your energy are your most valuable resources. You are the only person who
can steward those resources.
And if you don't have a system in place for stewarding those resources, then it's really easy to
revert back into old habits and patterns.
But that is why, like, and a lot of the things that I teach inside my signature program, we, like, the
planning rituals literally start with you. Like, the system is fail proof because it zooms out and
sees your entire life.
We determine what's important to you, what your priorities are, and then we build your life
around that.
And that's the best gift that you can give to yourself because that is you setting future you up for
success so that you can have both.
You can have the life, the enjoyment, the fulfilment, and the success, the achievement, and the
productivity.
And so in a nutshell, it is so damn hard for high achievers to rest, relax, and practice self-care
because it's literally a foreign concept for your body, your nervous system, and your brain.
So just imagine that you're learning a new skill, okay? Imagine you are a child learning to walk
again. This is literally what this is like. This is brand new. It is gonna take time.
Titrate. Follow these little tips. Take it one step at a time.
And your next step right now, for this next week, my invitation to you today is to give yourself
permission to dream and ideate.
Just live into this question: if I had all the time in the world, what would I do for fun and play
enjoy?
Let me know what comes up for you. I would be so curious.
Just because the idea comes to you doesn't mean you have to do it, okay? Just let yourself, like,
play with dreaming again. You know, we were so great at dreaming when we were kids.
And speaking of playing and having fun and joy, I am delighted next week to bring to you Alicia
onto the podcast.
She is a productivity, efficiency, leadership expert turned art teacher because she has cracked the
code on exactly what we've been talking about today, is that, like, most high performers are
incredibly productive.
What they actually need is a way to activate the other hemisphere of their brain, tap into their
creativity, and wind down and relax so they can release some stress and allow their body, mind,
and spirit to decompress so that they are, again, once again more open to the creative ideas, the
solutions, and can perform at their peak.
So it's gonna be a really cool episode. I'm so excited for you to hear her story and how she works
with ambitious, high-achieving humans who are so damn exhausted and just need an outlet to be
creative and give themselves permission to play again.
So make sure you tune in next week.
In the meantime, I, I can't wait to hear what your little dreams and ideas are. Bye for now.
If you're a high performer or entrepreneur who's got big dreams and you've developed strategies
to get you closer to those dreams, but you feel like there are also parts of you self sabotaging
your success, I built something just for you.
It is my signature achievement archetypes quiz that is absolutely free, takes less than 2 minutes,
and it will give you instant feedback as to where your Achilles heel is.
That is your natural self-sabotaging behaviour when it comes to productivity, planning, efficiency,
and organisation.
And it gives you your next right step and the solution you didn't know you needed.
You'll find the link in the show notes just below. Make sure you find your achievement archetype
and let me know what it is.
As a fellow achiever, I will be the first to put my hand up that I have now mastered my Achilles
heel, and I can't wait for you to do the same.
The views and opinions expressed by guests on Resonance are their own and do not necessarily
reflect the views of me, Viktoria Levenberg, LVNHealth, or anyone working within the LVNHealth
brand.
This space welcomes a diversity of ideas, experiences, and stories, and part of residence is
learning to take what aligns and gently leaving the rest.
Also, while I am a National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach and deeply passionate
about well-being, this podcast is intended for educational and inspirational purposes only.
Resonance does not substitute personalised medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Always
seek guidance from qualified professionals for any physical, emotional, or mental health
concerns.
