Resonance – Episode 24
Verbatim Transcript
Speaker: Viktoria Levenberg
Guest Speaker: Maiara Monsores
Maiara Monsores: These days motherhood's quite a lonely affair.
I'm still in the eye of the hurricane, trying to work full-time, have kids, manage their activities. I
say I got slapped in the face a lot by life.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, we are all going through something.
Viktoria Levenberg: Okay, this episode features a dear friend of mine, Maiara, who shares her
journey of motherhood while navigating a flourishing career and the complexities of life. I think
you're really going to enjoy this and find that it's such a relatable journey that comes with many
learnings and also key takeaways that you can apply in your own life when you might feel like you
are in the eye of the hurricane. I'll see you inside—enjoy.
Viktoria Levenberg: Welcome to Resonance, a podcast for ambitious, heart-led humans craving
more balance, depth, and aliveness in their lives. I'm your host, Vik—health coach, yoga teacher,
facilitator, and fellow high achiever learning to live in tune with my nervous system, not against it.
This space is here to remind you that you can have it all—the career, the success, the fulfilment—
all aligned with your truth. Through honest conversations, expert insights, and practical tools,
we'll explore how to work with your body, mind, emotions, and spirit, not against them.
And the best part? You don't have to stay stuck in survival mode to get there. Because true well-
being is not about being perfect; it's about being in resonance. Let's dive in.
Viktoria Levenberg: Okay, so a quick intro to Maiara. We have known each other for a pretty long
time, and what is so cool about being able to have facilitated and share this story with you is that
I’ve had this unique experience of knowing Maiara before and after her parenthood journey. And
I’m so excited for you to listen to her story because what she’s sharing—I think so many of the
women, the mothers or soon-to-be mothers—are going to really, really resonate with, you know?
Mai shares the true, vulnerable realities of what the journey is like that many of us don’t actually
touch upon or that might be kind of only discussed in little whisper secret conversations. And
she’s been really courageous to just tell it like it is and share her journey and learnings along the
way.
And she also talks about how she navigated her return to work and how she became a time-
bender and made that work for herself so that she could be there for her babies. And she also
touches on mum guilt. So honestly, there is so much in there.
I think what makes this episode also really unique is that Mai came straight up front and touched
on how she’s currently kind of in the eye of the hurricane—is the kind of metaphor that she
used—which I would argue we are all always in the eye of the hurricane. Like, we’re all dealing
with our own hurricanes.
But like, the fact that, you know, it’s the essence of Resonance, of this podcast: the raw, the
messy, the real—because let’s embrace it all. This is what life is about. And I just really love that
we were able to weave that thread through into our conversation.
And the other piece that maybe some of you will be able to relate to as well is touching on life as
an expat—you know, living in a different country, say, to where you grew up or where your family
is—and the challenges that come with that, and kind of the influence to our identity, our
belongingness, our sense of connection and community.
So there is so much for you in this episode. Without further ado, dive in. Enjoy.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mai, thank you so much for being here. I am so happy that you said yes. By
the way, I know I tapped you on the shoulder—haha—and yeah, just thank you for your
openness to come on and share your story and your life experience. It’s really an honour and a
privilege to have you here.
Maiara Monsores: Thank you for the patience waiting for me. As I told you, normally I do things
when I’m—maybe I shouldn’t say that—in the morning.
Viktoria Levenberg: You can say whatever you wanna say.
Maiara Monsores: Haha. Normally I do things like life admin when I’m on the red light in the car,
taking the kids from here to there. And I was having trouble with the link, which meant like it
just—yeah—kept getting postponed because
Viktoria Levenberg: It just wasn’t happening.
Maiara Monsores: I don’t have time to fix it in this red light—it has to be the next one.
Viktoria Levenberg: You know what comes to mind is Squid Game. Have you watched Squid
Game? It’s like the red light, green light, red light. Is that like your life right now?
Maiara Monsores: That’s—that. So anyway, that’s my life admin. Normally happens like that,
yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: No, of course. And like, it is also such a real-life application of the fact that,
like, my goodness—you are a busy mom and you are working, and you are here, like, also trying
to do things outside of work, you know? I’m even so stoked that you are here right now, because
I know that we almost had to kind of reschedule again ‘cause of kids’ birthday parties and—it’s all
a lot, right?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. It’s always a bit of a juggle between—so, for example, kids’ birthday
parties, and then if someone who is having, which child, and if you can have both in one place,
and then your support network—if that fell off, or you know, like—it’s just whatever. Like, 24/7
juggle.
So thank you for being so accommodating and so kind with my craziness. So it’s nice we can do it.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, of course. And it’s, as I said, an honour and a privilege. And we’ll get
into a lot of what you’ve touched on as well, but I guess to kick us off—for people who are
listening and don’t know you—can you give us a little intro? You know, who you are, where you’re
from, kind of brief little life story of what you feel comfortable sharing?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, sure. Um, I am originally from Brazil. So I’ve lived my whole life there.
Did uni there. After, and then I met my husband there, who is a Kiwi guy. And then after uni and
after kind of Europe—um, uni exchange—where I did get to meet my current husband there as
well, um, I moved to New Zealand. So, came here just after uni, you know, was going to have to
start my life anyway, and then I thought, well, this guy’s pretty cool. He asked me if I would like to
come here. I was like, cool, let’s go try it there and see how we go.
Haha. So it was quite interesting, ‘cause, you know, I would have never thought that I would
move to the other side of the world and have my life here and have two kids and a dog. Haha,
yes! So that’s quite wild if I think back like that.
So anyway, yeah—came to New Zealand just after graduating. Got a whole different sort of
different jobs to kind of, you know, just pay the rent and stuff for a while. And then I finally kind of
managed to get myself into corporate, which is kind of where I am still at the moment.
Yeah, and I have two kids—one 4-year-old, one 6-year-old—so still school and kindy life. I work
full-time. I took—with the first child I took about 7 months mat leave; with the second I took the
full year. But apart from that, I’ve been working full-time my whole life.
And let’s see, what else… yeah, and then that’s life. You know, just—yeah—day to day, trying to
work full time, have kids, manage their activities, and, um, yeah, so all those different pieces.
Viktoria Levenberg: That’s it, yes. And also have some time for yourself and your relationship and
family and friends, right? It’s, um… I honestly find that, you know, yourself and so many moms
out there—it’s like supermom, right? Because I recently attended this conference, and one of the
women said, “You never hear the term working dads.” And I was like, oh, that’s—that’s so
interesting. I’ve never thought of it that way, you know?
Because it is quite recent in human history that, as you say, you know, women are such an
integral part of the workforce and working full time while also managing the household and
raising kids and kind of juggling all the balls, hey.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, definitely. And I mean, I think it’s our generation at the moment—we are
seeing a big shift with, you know, the father figures and the fathers…
Maiara Monsores: Being a lot more present in the domestic life as well and, um, you know, doing
a lot more at home of course, and you know, the whole shift of, um—the dad doesn’t help at
home. They like—they are part of the household, and that’s what everyone in the household
does if you are functional, functional adults.
Viktoria Levenberg: It’s a high bar you set.
Maiara Monsores: But I think there are still things that, you know, as moms we kind of take into
our responsibility, and all of the mental load and bits and pieces like that that, um, we still kind of
take to ourselves. And, um, I think it’s quite common, like, talking to all the moms as well, that
that’s something that does happen.
But, you know, we’re lucky that it’s shifting, and I’m working hard to, you know, to have a
household that everyone is equal and the kids see everyone as equal as well. I have a boy and a
girl, so I want them to grow up knowing that everyone does everything at the house. Everyone
participates. I can build something, I can clean the house, I can cook. Dad can build something,
he can clean the house, he can cook, you know? Like yes—just trying to be quite, um, equal on all
sides.
But yeah, it is quite recent, I guess, that, um, the female figure of the family pretty much has to
be out there working as well, and like lots of hours and stuff, and—which is tricky because life
gets really busy and, you know, first thing to fall off the grid is your kind of self-care, right?
Because you have the priority of your children, kind of second priority is work because you need
to pay bills—haha.
Um, and then, you know, when you kind of like—you’re kind of always trying to catch up with
your own, um, well-being and your own, um, kind of just living life and trying not to be too
stressed type thing.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, exactly. I mean, my mind keeps going back to that GIF that you always
send in WhatsApp of this, like, woman trying to—haha—like, smiling through gritted teeth.
Maiara Monsores: I have another one that’s a Barbie doll, and she’s all like—her hair’s all messy
and her makeup’s all crazy, and she’s like, “It’s all under control,” haha.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my gosh, that is so funny. I think that’ll be so relatable for so many mums
out there, and so many women. But I think, yeah, like, I’m so grateful that you’re here because,
you know, I’m not a mum—I’m a dog bestie, but that’s like as far as that goes—and yet I can still,
you know, empathise so much as I observe from the outside.
Like, honestly, hats off and so much respect to you and every single woman out there who has
had her body transformed to literally bring life into this planet, and then a year later, or in some
cases like yours, only seven months later, is like, “Okay, back to it, I guess,” and, “Let me just
juggle this and juggle that,” and it’s like, I don’t know how you do it. Like, can you—can you share
a little bit of, like, what that transition was like for you as a, um, successful career woman that
you also still are, but then whose priorities, I guess, and values would have seen a big
transformation throughout that journey?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. Before I get there, I just want to, like, say one thing. When you
invited me to the podcast, I was like, “Oh man, like, I don’t know if I’m the right person for this,”
because I’m still in the eye of the hurricane—haha. So, you know, the kids are still little, we’re
still, like, full-on, still, yeah, kind of like right there. And, you know, there are some weeks I
manage to—and, you know, I have identified that I struggle with stress, like most people do and
stuff, but you know, I have identified the things that make me improve and, like, take better care
of myself.
Some weeks I manage to do it all; my stomach is a train wreck and I just feel like I’m breaking.
So you’re not—
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes!
Maiara Monsores: I’m in the eye of the tiger!
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes—and thank you so much.
Oh yeah, so keep going.
Maiara Monsores: So, like, I—I wasn’t sure if I was the right person to kind of, you know, come
through on your podcast, because I know it’s about, you know, identifying—not about that, but
the—I think, comparing through all the—of your episodes that I’ve listened—it’s about, “I’ve
been through this journey, I’ve learned, I’ve moved on.” And I’m like, “No, not quite sure if I have
moved on, but we’ll get there.”
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, and I love that you named that, because I guess, like, the episodes that
have aired so far have—have some of that story, but also the intention when I brought
Resonance to life is to bring in, like, these real-life stories, you know, of people who are in the eye
of the hurricane, who are doing the best to hold, you know, their ass together.
And, um, there is an element of almost transformation within that already, because just through
you being aware of it—as you probably hear me always say—like, awareness is the first step. And
also speaking about it—that is already your path of, like, transformation.
And the thing is, like, the journey never ends. Like, it might feel like you’re really deep in the eye
of the hurricane right now, and the thing is, like, with time, you will become more resilient and
more, more, um, equipped with your individual tools that work for you in your toolkit. And then
you’ll be in a different hurricane—and that’s, like, life. We just go from one hurricane to the
other.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. Okay, but now I’ll answer your question.
So, the whole journey between, you know, being a working person free of much trouble—
Viktoria Levenberg: Which is when I met you, right? Like, yeah, we—we would just, like, chill at
the office till 7, like, whatever.
And yeah, and then I remember the moment she said, “Yeah, I’m pregnant,” I’m like, “Oh, she’s a
different person now!” Hahaha.
Yeah, bye—hahaha.
Maiara Monsores: Never see you again—hahaha.
Yeah, so that—that was an interesting time. I was, um, I did a little bit of a little search on Google
because I thought, um, we probably have been through, like, as a family, as a couple, my husband
and I, we have been through kind of, like, some major life changes, um, and a lot of them in the
last six or seven years.
So we sold and bought three houses, moved, had two children, we had a global pandemic—
Viktoria Levenberg: There’s someone coming, sorry.
Maiara Monsores: Lily’s coming in—
Viktoria Levenberg: Yay, hi!
Maiara Monsores: Hi! Yeah, I’m having a work call, okay?
Viktoria Levenberg: I love that. This is it. This is the really real—like, “Mommy, why are you
working on a Saturday?”
Maiara Monsores: Yes.
Viktoria Levenberg: She’s like, “We’re having snacks.”
Maiara Monsores: Bless—haha.
Anyway, um, yeah, so we had all those things—a lot—um, yeah, quite recently. Mm-hmm.
And yeah, so when we met, you know, we were, you know, working really hard and stuff and still
pushing through, um, but I could allow myself to—you know, if I had to work later, I would work
later.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mm-hmm.
Maiara Monsores: If I had to do a three-day conference and do whatever, I could just go, and I
didn’t have to do any logistics. My home life was just like, “I’ll pack up and off I go.” There’s no—
no kind of trouble.
Um, and then, yeah, when I—when we had, um, our first child, um, it was—it was quite, um, it
was quite a shock for me, to be honest, because I did come from a big family, and I did, um, you
know, I had lots of cousins and aunties and stuff. But I think the other effect of that is that all the
kind of, like, kind of idea that you have from what family life is with young children is quite
superficial, because you don’t have to kind of go into the kind of the grunt of it.
Because it’s a big family, there’s a lot of, um, support network, a lot of help—
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes.
Maiara Monsores: —and stuff like that. So I don’t think I kind of had the full extent of what the
whole experience was. And I guess as well—different country. Um, we have Francis’s family here,
which is—they are fantastic. They are such a great support network and so loving and, yeah, it’s
just—they’re incredible. But it’s just his side, so we don’t have my side as well.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes.
Maiara Monsores: So, you know, it’s always—there’s always travel to be done and stuff. It’s just
normal.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mm-hmm.
Maiara Monsores: Um, so yeah, when we had Louis it was a big shock for me. Just as an
example—in my head, I was thinking that I was going to have the baby and three months later I
was going to do the Warrior Challenge with you guys—the, what’s the name, the—
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh, the Spartan Race!
Maiara Monsores: The Spartan Race!
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my God! Are you kidding?!
Maiara Monsores: Well, in my head I thought, “I’m going to have a great labor, it’s going to be
such fast recovery, uh, and I’m going to be
I thought I was going to be doing Spartan with these guys in three months.
So anyway, there were, you know, like wow—there was the psychological side of it, but also the
physical side of it. Because my first baby was quite a giant little boy, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: I remember you got pretty big.
You know, and like, we can say that, right? Because he was a big boy.
Maiara Monsores: He was a big boy. He was 4 point, uh, 3 kgs, which is about nine something
pounds—like almost ten pounds. Um, so I got really big, and you know, that comes with your
body changing a lot.
Viktoria Levenberg: Um, yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Uh, and then I had to have a cesarean as well, which just in itself—because it’s
a major operation—you have six weeks that you can’t even drive. So, you know, I think that was
the first slap in my face.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mmm hmm, bye. Bye Spartan Race—that’s not happening.
Maiara Monsores: I was like, bye bye anything, I can’t even drive.
Viktoria Levenberg: With a newborn as well, like, here you are trying to heal your body and
recover, and then there’s this, like, new thing that’s dependent on you.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. Exactly right, that’s that. And which is like, well, a lot of moms go
through as well. And you know, I guess I was just a bit naive, and
Viktoria Levenberg: We don’t know what you don’t know.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. We lived in an apartment as well, which had stairs, so that was a
challenge at that time because I—how am I gonna move up and down with a baby? I couldn’t. So
I was like Rapunzel in the tower with a baby.
So, you know, I think there was the whole physical side of it and then the psychological side of it,
which is, um—these days motherhood’s quite a lonely affair.
Like, I came from a busy life of, you know, work, and we had lots of, you know, fun times with like
conferences, and it was a big team and we were always, you know, in a group, and it was—
yeah—
Viktoria Levenberg: It was always banter.
That was my life. And then I found myself for months and months by myself, because my husband
was back at work—of course, because everyone needs to pay bills.
And yeah, and then of course throughout the time I kind of found some groups and found new
kind of, um, you know, people that I would have time together, but that took a little bit of time to
build, of course. And I realised that, um—I remember the midwife telling me, she came to my
house and I was not in a good state. And she was like, “Oh, what did you do—what do you do for
work?” And then I explained to her, and she was like, “Yeah, generally women that have, you
know, like a really kind of busy job and a social job and stuff like that really struggle in the first few
months because it’s a complete twist on your world, really.”
Viktoria Levenberg: Mmm hmm.
Maiara Monsores: So yeah, so that was—that was a lot. I say I got slapped in the face a lot by life.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, yes.
Maiara Monsores: But good, good, good things. Good things. I think, you know, like, learned a lot
as well about myself and about life in general, and took a lot more empathy into people. And you
know, I think every parent goes through that thing, like thinking, “Oh my God, I thought when I
was a parent I was never ever gonna do this and that,” and look—no, look.
Viktoria Levenberg: Everything is under control.
Maiara Monsores: Haha!
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, perspective.
“Here, have some TV time,” haha.
“I just want to sleep.”
Maiara Monsores: “I just need to do work”
Viktoria Levenberg: “I just wanna shower. Yeah, by myself.”
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yes. So, you know, those things—it was a big shift. And of course, that
does take a bit of an impact on your mental health and stuff.
And then Louis was about to turn seven months, and I returned to work, and my husband was
taking the remainder of the year maternity leave that we have here in New Zealand.
We had a trip booked to go to Brazil to see my family as well. My dad came here to meet Louis,
but, um, you know, he hasn’t met any of the family—no one else from the family. So we had a
trip there, and then Covid hit.
So we had to cancel all of our plans of travelling, of course.
Viktoria Levenberg: Covid hit after or before you went to Brazil?
Maiara Monsores: Before.
Viktoria Levenberg: So you had to cancel your trip.
Maiara Monsores: We had to cancel, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh no.
Maiara Monsores: So I was back at work for like a month or so. So, you know, had my whole rest
pump set up done, everything going—so organised.
Viktoria Levenberg: You are very organised, yes.
Maiara Monsores: “I will pump at this and this time,” and hahaha—yeah. I was very organised,
yeah.
And yeah, and then Covid hit, we’re all working from home and stuff, which was a big change for
everyone, and you know, getting used to what was going on.
Viktoria Levenberg: Uh huh, um.
Maiara Monsores: And yeah, so then we were kind of navigating Covid and those bits and pieces.
Viktoria Levenberg: And at that point, Francis was still on parental leave, or was he back at work?
Because I’m just trying to understand if you guys had, like, daycare or whether—
Maiara Monsores: Yes—no, at that point he was on parental leave. So, okay, we took the full—
you have like one year parental leave you can take.
Um, so we say—I say like Louis took the full one-year parental leave, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Good.
Maiara Monsores: Like, seven months with me and the remainder with—um, so that was pretty
good.
And then yeah, navigating all that and stuff. And then when Louis turned one, we thought, if we
want—I thought, if we want another child, we have to have it now because, um, if we take too
long, I’m not gonna do this again.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, I mean, you’ve put your body through an intense experience. Right?
Maiara Monsores:, Yeah, yeah. Like, I—yeah, I don’t know.
Viktoria Levenberg: And mentally and physically, as you say, yeah.
Maiara Monsores: I love—I, of course, love my children too, but—and I loved feeling them inside
of me and the experience in that side, um—and I feel bad complaining because I didn’t have any
health issues per se with the pregnancies.
But they were just very uncomfortable, and I had—aside from health issues, I had any other—
every other kind of symptom of pregnancy, like of discomfort, I had them. Like, the whole list.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah. Are you comfortable naming a few for someone who kind of doesn’t—
yeah, hasn’t had the experience?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. You know, morning sickness—full day sickness.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh goodness.
Maiara Monsores: And, um, lots of reflux.
Viktoria Levenberg: I remember you being so sensitive to people heating up food in the fridge—
Maiara Monsores: Smell in the—
Viktoria Levenberg: in the microwave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Remember you said, “The noise of the microwave was starting to give me, like,
panic because, like, I knew I was going to smell something—it was gonna make me feel sick.”
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, I remember that.
Maiara Monsores: Um, uh, yeah. All the—and I, like, with Lily, with my second pregnancy, um, I
had this, um, problem at my lower back that I could barely walk. And so I had, like, a toddler and
was pregnant, and I couldn’t—it was like a struggle, and I was still working.
Viktoria Levenberg: My goodness.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. So, you know, it wasn’t—it wasn’t anything health-wise, but the
pregnancies weren’t pleasant for me. And I know a lot of people really love it, but for me they
weren’t nice.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mmm hmm.
Maiara Monsores: Um, so yeah. So anyway, I was like—I knew we were still going through Covid
and stuff, and I was like, but if we wanna have another child, it has to be now.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Otherwise—otherwise we—it’s not gonna happen. So we decided to go
ahead, and then we had Lily, which was, um, really lovely.
But again, still navigating Covid in that time. We sold the apartment, we bought, um, a new
house. So there was the move, and it was, you know, off the plan—so that gets delayed, and you
know, the kind of fits and fixes, the house getting delayed, and I was close—
Viktoria Levenberg: Was that the Hobsonville one?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my God.
Maiara Monsores: I was ready to pop out baby and the house wasn’t ready, and there were
lockdowns looming.
Viktoria Levenberg: That’s right—because we went into lockdown a couple more times.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. And, um, yeah. And in that instance as well, by that time we did
have, um, you know, daycare and kindy support, which was great.
But yeah, so as soon as—like, when Lily was about three months old, we had another lockdown
as well. All the daycares closed. So I had her really young and my toddler at home, um, which was
a whole—and Francis was working really hard, so it was, you know, he could only do what he
could do.
So that was another kind of shift and adaptation and stuff.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mmm hmm.
Maiara Monsores: Luckily, at that point, we had a double stroller that saved my life.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my God, yes.
Maiara Monsores: I always talk about the double stroller—
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my God, yes. The double stroller—let’s go.
The double stroller, man. I was like, when I had to sell it, I almost cried. I was like, the double
stroller saved my life.
Viktoria Levenberg: And now it gets to save someone else’s life.
Maiara Monsores: Save someone else’s life, yeah. I was like, “You’re gonna love it.” I did say to
the mum that came to collect.
It was like, yeah, great. Um, but yeah, we—we literally got the stroller like, I think it was one or
two days before a major lockdown.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh wow.
Maiara Monsores: So you know, they would just come out of nowhere. So I was like, oh my God,
thank God we got this.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, and like—cause all you could do was walk as well, right?
And I mean, I hear a lot of mothers talk about the experience of having their second child just
being so different because you’re kind of, of course, going through all of the—I’m gonna name it,
I’m gonna say hardship because it is hard. It is hard on your body, it is hard on your mind, right?
Because I mean, it’s—it is kind of a big deal. You’re creating life. Like, it—it would—I’d be
surprised if it was easy. So all these women, like navigating this hardship once again, at the same
time they have a toddler who’s also really energetic and demanding love and attention.
And so you’re like—you both, through pregnancy and I guess also as you’re nursing, right—like, I
just cannot imagine what that experience has been like for you.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. Yeah, so you know, again, lots of learning, lots of adapting.
And I guess even more accentuated, like for the kids that are our kids’ age, a lot, quite a lonely
experience as well. Because you’re going through all those lockdowns and bubbles and stuff like
that.
So I think it is, you know, like in this day, society setup—it is kind of a lonely experience. I think
the kids—the people that have kids about our kids’ age—was even more so, which is quite hard.
Because you’re learning—you’re learning how to deal with these little humans, and what’s
normal, what’s not, what’s acceptable, what’s not.
You’re learning to be a parent and, you know, you don’t have—you can’t really change or talk to
people. Um, yeah, so it wasn’t—it wasn’t easy on, you know, my mental health or my health
overall in a way.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah. And thank you for sharing that because, you know, I can feel the depth
of that experience. And as you were sharing your story, you know, you spoke about it—about
parenthood in itself, motherhood being quite a lonely affair, which, as you say, in these days, we
live in a very nuclear, um, family paradigm.
And then on top of, you know, people who have had children around the Covid lockdown
period—those kind of three, four years—which was the case for you. Like both of your babies are
Covid babies.
Maiara Monsores: Ha ha ha, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: I wonder if that’s what they’re gonna call their generation.
Maiara Monsores: Ha ha, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Actually, random thought—but anyways, um, yeah—it’s, it’s um—it kind of
exacerbates that loneliness. And that time was a real time of awakening and shaking a lot of
people up.
As you say, yes, a lot of learnings about yourself, about life. And for me this analogy of rebirth
keeps coming to mind. Because people always say, like, when you get pregnant, when you start a
family, like, “Oh, it’s so amazing, you’re bringing new life into this world.” Which it is.
And at the same time, like, you are getting reborn.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. Definitely, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Okay, quick pause—let’s just take a brief moment to take a deep breath in
through the nose…
(inhales)
…and out through the mouth…
(exhales)
Hmm, how yummy is that.
Hey, if mindfulness has ever felt confusing or too hard to start, I created a free online course
called Live in Presence: 8 Days of Mindfulness to help you come back to yourself—gently.
You can sign up for free using the link in the show notes below at lvnhealth.co or through the link
in my bio at LVNHealth.
Now take a deep breath in… and we’ll gently transition back to the episode.
Maiara Monsores: It’s definitely a big shift on how you think, on how you behave, on how you
navigate the world. Um, definitely—definitely, 100%, like, yeah.
You’re—like, I’ve seen comments and people putting things on, like, “Oh, I’m putting my
motherhood experience on LinkedIn, like, with the skills I have developed.” Because yes.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes!
Maiara Monsores: Because I have. Because you do—you do kind of like enhance a whole lot of
skills that you didn’t have before, you know? That doesn’t mean that anyone’s a perfect human
being, but you do learn a lot. It’s like a really shaking life experience.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mmm hmm. Yes. I mean, like, as I think back—the best people managers I
have seen are mothers.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, that’s true.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Hmm, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: I love that. Are you—are you putting your motherhood experience on your
LinkedIn profile?
Maiara Monsores: No, I didn’t. But I did think about that. My LinkedIn’s pretty—there’s not much
there, to be honest.
Viktoria Levenberg: Ha ha.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: I feel like that should become a movement. Like—because 50%, I mean okay,
not all 50% choose or can have kids, but like, let’s say on average, right—50% of the workforce is
going through this massive experience, and there are so many transferable skills.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, that—and I would say even for the dads as well.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes.
Maiara Monsores: There’s a lot of that, because like again, at least from our household
experience, um, Francis is fully—you know, like, we are—I don’t know if we can say 50, I think
week on week we go 50/50, 60…
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
Maiara Monsores: You know, like—it’s conscious parenting is what I would name it.
Viktoria Levenberg: Its conscious parenting is what I would name it.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, you know. Like, we are very equal on the way we do things and stuff.
So—the parents in general, you know, learn a lot and have to go through all of that. Um, but
yeah, it definitely changed how I approach things.
And it changed how I approach work as well. Because I think before I used to do—
Did you hear the noise?
Viktoria Levenberg: Ha ha, I love it.
I just saw your little smirk, like—oh God.
Maiara Monsores: That’s chaos outside, I’m like not paying attention.
Viktoria Levenberg: Ha ha, it’s life.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Um—your voice got really high-pitched there for a moment. You were talking
about how well you and Francis co-parent and co-navigate these things, which by the way, like
right now is such a perfect example of that.
Like, again, I’m so grateful that you are here, sharing your precious time with me to share your
story, and he is kind of taking, um, you know, the reins to help navigate the—the tornado that’s
brewing outside.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, exactly. Um, um. But I think what I was trying to say was, like, it changed
my approach to how I work as well.
Because I think, you know, when we met and when we worked together, um, I used to almost do
like little—little tricks on myself to make sure I was keeping myself into accountability for the time
I work, and making sure I would do other things with my life as well, right? Like not just work.
For example, the little trick of—ha ha—I’m saying the more hours you work, the less you earn,
you know?
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes!
And you were the first person that told me that, like—you know, that time of overwork calculator.
I’ll link it up in this episode, because like, you are the woman who inspired this, like—Game
Changer. I kid you not, I ran this with my numbers, and I net—net am the same despite moving to
part-time, because of all that.
It’s wild, yeah. Cam, my partner, is technically earning the same if we take that time into
consideration.
Maiara Monsores: Into consideration, yeah. The overtime and stuff that you do. So that was a
little mind game I created for myself. And it’s quite funny that like, you kind of took that to life,
which is—yeah, which is really cool.
Viktoria Levenberg: Never underestimate the ripple effect that you have on people.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah.
When I heard that, I was like, “Oh my God, don’t listen to me!” Ha ha.
It was just a little mind game I created for myself, ha ha.
Viktoria Levenberg: Ha ha!
Maiara Monsores: Anyway, so before, I used to do those things to kind of control my time and
make sure I was being effective with the time in my head and not just kind of like going
overboard.
While now, and like—I think especially when the kids were really little and they were going to
daycare really young—there was no negotiation with my time.
I got to a point that I was—I was timing every single thing I did on a day at work, because I was
like, “If I have 10 minutes now, this is gonna be the most productive 10 minutes I’ve ever had.”
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes.
Like, you are having to make the most of every second.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah.
So I was like, “I have this piece of work that would probably take me 20 minutes—I’m gonna do it
in 15.”
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
And—and this is like the example of, um, I think it’s Parkinson’s Law, of like how time expands to
fill the container available that you create for it.
So, you know, rather than previously where you had more freedom—time freedom—and you
had to play these little mind games on yourself so it wouldn’t get sucked up by work, now you’re
like, there was no other way. So you’re like, well, this is gonna get done.
Maiara Monsores: And I start—yeah, I did start getting a bit too excited with that though.
And then going a little bit too overboard, like, “Okay—two minutes for the bathroom, that’s all.”
In my head, right? Like, I’m not saying this.
Viktoria Levenberg: Hahaha, okay.
Yeah, yeah. That’s probably a little bit…
Maiara Monsores: So yeah, things are getting a bit crazy.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Oh my goodness, and go quick!
Maiara Monsores: It’s like—it’s like the lady on the meme, like outside. I was like, “Yeah!”
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my gosh,
Maiara Monsores: But anyway. That—yeah—that was as soon as I came back to work, I was like
that. I was like, “Okay, it’s game on.”
Viktoria Levenberg: And you are like such a superwoman. Like, I can just see you doing that,
like—bam, bam, bam! “I’m gonna smash all this stuff out.”
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. So, I mean, in the meantime I changed jobs a couple of times as well,
which is not like—another one in the list of major life stresses, you know?
Yeah—moving houses, changing jobs, ha ha ha, building stuff, which is all around…
So anyway, that—I was kind of going through that with my return to work as well. Because the
other thing that happens once—and I think it happens to a lot of people, I’m not sure if it
happens to everyone—I think majority of parents—it was, but it was really strong for me and it
still is—it’s the mum guilt of, you know, like, I was always measuring—why am I doing this? Why
am I back to work, and my kids are being raised by daycare?
That’s in my head, that’s not what happens in real life—but that was what was always going
through my head.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, yeah. It’s in your head. Yeah.
Maiara Monsores: I was always married, like 24/7, just kind of having those thoughts and
measuring. And it’s like—if I have these hours at work, then they have to pay off. Like, yeah, I
wanna do the best I can do because, yeah, I wanna progress, because I’m doing this for my kids.
And the kids—they care. If they are there, I have to—you know, you know.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, like it comes back to your why, right? Your children and your family. And
like, cause you mentioned a few times throughout our conversations, like around paying the bills,
etcetera, because like, that’s the world we live in right now.
Where unfortunately most times both parents need to work in order to sustain a lifestyle and be
able to afford to have children, because children are expensive. But like, sometimes I can really
understand how you might be like, “Why am I here? I wanna be with my babies.”
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. So it’s the constant justification of what you’re doing. Because
ultimately you don’t have any—for a goal which, you know, might be wrong, might be right—but
that was a choice I made at the time.
Viktoria Levenberg: Hmm, yeah. And how do you navigate that guilt? Because it’s real, right? Like
emotions are real. And I know that—again, feel free to share as much or as little as you feel
comfortable sharing—but like, what helps you when that inner chatter, that voice, tends to get
louder than you would prefer it to be?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. I mean, I think it’s always just coming back to the final goal, right? Like,
this is the decision that I made, which I believe is the best for my family—for, you know, for the
lifestyle that we wanna live, and for what I want for their future, etcetera, etcetera.
So I was doing that. But does that work 100%? No. But you know, that was kind of where I got
back to. And then, of course, chatting to other parents—other parents that are going through the
same thing.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Chatting, chatting, exchanging the experience—and um, it’s so important.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes.
Maiara Monsores: I look at friends and other families, and they look so amazing, and they are all
happy, and they are doing such a great job. And then we start sharing a little bit more, and you
see everyone is in the same boat. Like, it’s not easy for anyone.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, hmm.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, you can’t just look superficially and compare yourself. Cause it’s—yeah,
it’s not easy. And I don’t know, probably people look at us and think we have it all figured out—
and
Viktoria Levenberg: None of us have it figured out. Like, it’s not—no. And thank you so much for
naming that. Because we are all going through something.
Like, if you feel like you cannot relate to someone, ask them: “What’s going on in your life right
now that you’re being challenged by?” And also, “What’s good in your life right now?”
And I guarantee you—parent or not, whoever—they are all going through it, right? And this is
why I started this as well. Like, this is a big reason as to why I wanted to bring normal, everyday
humans to share their real-life stories.
Because, um, you know, you have the courage to be really open and share, and kind of exchange
this experience with other parents. There are probably many mothers out there right now who
are still very much in their head, and like, “Oh my God,”—you know, I’m not even gonna affirm
any of that nonsense, because you know exactly what that voice is saying.
And like, hearing someone like you open up vulnerably and share your experience, like—“Oh, so
there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not a failure. I’m just having the same experience that
everyone else is having.”
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. It’s the everyday—the everyday kind of battle, right?
And the other thing as well—physically you do, you know, you do get physically tired, which
doesn’t help your emotional well-being as well, I guess.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah. Plus, add into that—being a woman and dealing with the cyclical
nature of femalehood, right?
Maiara Monsores: Oh yeah. That definitely has a little hit every time it happens.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh yeah.
Maiara Monsores: “I don’t have time for this!”
Viktoria Levenberg: Ha ha, yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. So I mean, yeah, that was kind of our experience. And then there was
the whole piece as well of not being able to see my family for ages.
Viktoria Levenberg: Um, yeah, that would have been rough.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, the kids met them when they were three and four—like two and a bit
and four. So it was quite a long time. Like, I’m really close to my family.
To have had been through such major life changes and not being able to share with them was
quite hard.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, I can imagine. And I can really empathise with you, you know—having
your family on the other side of the world. It was actually something I wanted to come back to—
like what that experience was like for you as well.
Because so much of what you’ve shared really emphasises that it takes a village to raise a
family—and that’s where our origins are from.
And especially as an expat, especially for someone who moves to a new country, like, your village
is a 12-hour, 24-hour flight away.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we—we have Francis’ family here, which is amazing. They
are—yeah, they’re great. And it’s a big extended family, cause we have, um, when they were kids,
their mum and dad split, so they have new families, which is lovely, cause it’s like—it’s all one
thing.
Viktoria Levenberg: Double the fun!
Maiara Monsores: More people, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: The more the merrier!
Maiara Monsores: The more the merrier. And of course, we have the friends that are like family
as well. So you know, that’s all of that. But definitely it’s really hard to be far from my family—like
my mom, my dad, my sister, my nephews and my nieces, yeah.
And aunties, uncles, everyone—cause it’s a big family.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, absolutely.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, we were like—we were quite like a Sunday lunch type family.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mmm hmm.
Maiara Monsores: Like, summer holidays together type family. So yeah, it’s tricky not to have that
when you’re going through those moments of change and learning and stuff, and kind of raising
our own family.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, it ties back to that kind of notion of identity and belonging. And you
know, as a third culture kid, I really understand where it’s like—obviously your family, your home,
your life is here.
And yet there’s this other massive part of you that is in Brazil, and there’s, you know, a part of
you that wants your children to have exposure to that culture—to the food, to the language, to
the—you know, the kind of energy—it’s just, it’s different. It’s—it’s a different vibe.
Maiara Monsores: Mmm, yeah. 100%. Like, we try to introduce bits and pieces, but of course it’s
quite different to being there and like, kind of living it. And um, yeah, as parents we have the
expectation that all the good things we’ve been through, that our kids will have to go through as
well.
And of course, they’re gonna have completely different experiences. But yeah, it’s—and I think
the day-to-day life with, you know, the grandparents and the aunties and stuff—when we went a
couple of years ago, it was really awesome.
And they had a great time. And my dad came here as well with my niece and his wife, which was
lovely. But yeah, it’s kind of the day-to-day living together, and getting to share and experience
things, and just going down the road to get hot chocolate together.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
Maiara Monsores: It just means that when we go, it’s kind of full-on—
Viktoria Levenberg: Very intense, right? Cause you’re like trying to cram everything in, like
make—it’s almost actually the same parallel as what you said about work earlier. It’s like you’re
trying to cram as much value into the limited time that you have together, right?
Maiara Monsores: Yeah. Yeah, which is a— It’s another, um, quite interesting thing because we
do have other resident families that have kind of similar experience, right? They had their
children here and stuff and, um, and at least one of our friends had their family come here and
spend—I think they spent three months or a bit more—here with the kids and having like such a
great time.
And that whole experience in itself is like crazy emotional time for everyone involved. And it’s the
arriving and it’s the trying to jam everything in that short amount of time that you have, and then
the kind of like leaving again.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes.
Maiara Monsores: That’s a very like—there’s quite a big toll emotionally, I think, on everyone
involved. Um, yeah. And I’ve—I struggled when I went through it, like visiting and having my dad
visiting, um, and um, and I could see in like—and I didn’t really, you know, take much account
into it cause I was like, it’s probably, you know, just me.
But yeah, this friend of mine, it—it was the same thing, and it took a big toll. And it’s like you
wanna be grateful and you wanna be happy that it happened, but—it’s, um, yeah, it’s a lot of
things happening at the same time at once. And you have to deal with all of that, um, yeah, in a
short amount of time.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah. It’s an emotional roller coaster is kind of the metaphor that comes to
mind. You know, like my—my heart literally is like aching with you as you share that experience,
because even though there’s no kind of children and—and—and bigger family involved, it’s, you
know, similarly to you—and I think so many people relate to this—like throughout Covid, you
know, they weren’t able to see their family, whether it was because they live far away and
couldn’t get on a plane, or also the bubble situation, right?
Like a lot of families had to stay separate for whatever reasons, and um, you know, especially as
an expat, and—and you, like, you love New Zealand, right? Like that’s why you’re here.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: It’s—it’s kind of like, I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. So like this is—
this is my happy place, and at the same time, like the heartache of—I remember the last time my
mom left. She came in February, and we had like the most magical two weeks. Similar to you, it
was just like such a big experience of like trying to integrate and gel together and—and do all the
things, and then like—I just remember bawling my eyes out on the way back from the airport,
because it feels like a piece of you is leaving with that person.
And you, like—and I don’t know, there’s—it’s really hard to explain it to people who aren’t third
culture kids or expats, like who, you know—like as, I feel like in New Zealand, you have a lot of
people who are like, “Yeah, I was—I grew up in Auckland, born and raised, and my family’s from
Auckland like three generations back.”
And like, in my old community, that was so rare because I’m in quite an international community.
So it’s really hard to explain this, like, identity—almost like loneliness and longing for home that’s
never fully fulfilled.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: You’ve got kids coming in?
Maiara Monsores: Don’t know, ha ha ha.
Viktoria Levenberg: They’re probably like, “Is mum still working?” It’s okay, we’ll—we’ll wrap
things up very soon, cause I’m so conscious of your time.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, no, no, it’s fine. This is—I think we’re just coming in.
Yeah, definitely it is.
And then, you know, you’re with—you haven’t seen your family for a while, and then when you
do see them, you’re like 24 hours with them. You wake up with them, you go to sleep. Of course
there’s like little, you know—
Viktoria Levenberg: Mm hmm.
Maiara Monsores: You always get a bit annoyed with something.
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my God, yes. Like my mum eating yoghurt out of a coffee mug.
Maiara Monsores: Ha ha ha!
Viktoria Levenberg: Who does that? Like, I drink my tea out of this!
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, so—
Viktoria Levenberg: You know, there’s bowls in the drawer, woman!
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: You’re like, haven’t seen you in ages, and now we’re like in teams, living in
the same space.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, but yeah—it’s, yeah—it’s humans, huh.
Viktoria Levenberg: We are humans, we are humans. Yes. And um, look, you know, you’ve shared
so much around your experience, and—and you were really upfront with the fact that like you
are still in the eye of the hurricane.
And yet at the same time, you mentioned that like you are, um, doing things for yourself. You’re
doing the best you can to do things for yourself. So I would actually really love to hear, like in the
moment, as you are in the eye of the hurricane, like what is it that you do for yourself to help
inch yourself back to centre and—and kind of settle the little, uh, you know, the eye twitch that’s
kind of going on, hahaha.
Maiara Monsores: Um, I think for me, what really helps—and it’s quite like an immediate result—
is movement. So, um, and it doesn’t mean that I’m some super sporty person, cause I’m not at
all, um, but I try to have kind of a regular exercise routine.
Is that what people call these days—training?
Maiara Monsores: Ha ha, movement.
Viktoria Levenberg: Movement! Joyful, move your body.
That’s it. Like cleaning the house is movement—that counts in my box. Playing with the kids is
movement.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah.
So I try, you know, when I can, do something by myself—maybe go for a run or go like for a gym
or something like that somewhere. Um, yeah. Some weeks I manage to do more than others.
We’re like just finishing two weeks of school holidays, which I—not much of that got
accomplished, ha ha ha ha.
But you know, you just go with the flow. And I’m, yeah, cause I think before, if I didn’t get
consistency, I would get very frustrated and just kind of stop. But now I’m like, well, the real
world at the moment that I’m—I’m not gonna get consistency, so I’m just gonna do it when I can.
And it’s like, the kids are four and six, and there is already like a bit of a change on how much
they, you know, they need you and stuff like that. Like when they were super little, it was a lot
harder to get anything for myself done, which—you can already, like—it’s already quite different
now, which is, you know, parents with young children out there, it does get slightly better
progressively.
All the problems though, but
Viktoria Levenberg: There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Maiara Monsores: There’s a—you know, different kind of problems, but, you know, ha ha ha,
yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: It’s—it’s a different shade of—a shade of red, yeah.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. Exactly, that’s it, that’s it. Um, so yeah, so you know, things change
and—and move, I guess it’s just keeping—um, just keep—keep trying to do it when you can and
stuff like that, and not like—not be too bogged down on what you want, like results or whatever.
Just—the result is just keep a healthy mind.
Ha ha ha, yes. Like the end goal, not the result—the end goal.
Viktoria Levenberg: That’s it.
Viktoria Levenberg: A healthy mind.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: That’s just like, do it for the doing, not for—for something else, right?
Maiara Monsores: Exactly.
Viktoria Levenberg: And I love that you said that—like, do it when you can. And—and you—you
use the words that like, “Oh well, you know, it’s not consistent.” I would argue that doing it when
you can is consistent, because consistency—and I actually have an episode airing on this in two
weeks’ time—but like, you get to make the rules.
It’s your life. If your consistency looks like, hey, when I feel like I’ve got the spaciousness and a
breather to give myself however much time I have—it could be two minutes, it could be
twenty—I’m gonna do something. For me, that’s consistency.
It might look different than the consistency you had before you had children, where it was every
day at—hahaha—but it’s just, it’s just different, right? And you’re adapting because you’ve gone
through a massive transformation.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Just go with the flow of life.
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly. Go with the flow of life.
And if you had to give a word of advice to someone, you spoke about the younger children, um,
which, which, you know, sounded like a really intense, tumultuous time for you—if there was
something that you wish your younger self would have known, what would you tell her now that
you know what you know?
Maiara Monsores: I think it’s still the same thing, like the same advice I would probably give
myself now. It’s like—which is quite like a steady one, cause when I see that I’m always like,
“Yeah, sure, sure.” It’s like, hahaha—you just have to make sure you’re enjoying your life and
you’re happy, because, yeah, you know, kind of like what everyone says about time flies. Time
does fly. Kids grow up fast.
The same thing that people know—but
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, but say it in your words, because the way you say it might land really
differently with someone.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah. You just have to—to make sure you’re being happy and, you know,
like you’re—you’re enjoying your days. And life shouldn’t be a drag. Um, it’s a—yeah, yeah, you
know, like every—every day you should make sure you’re happy, and however way that looks like
for you.
Like for me, I’m happy when I’m with the kids and like when we’re just hanging out and doing
stuff—which I’m not saying, like, that we never have conflicts, people never yell and stuff like
that. More than things—
Viktoria Levenberg: Things aren’t always super peaceful—they’re not trying to kill each other or
anything. Ha ha ha!
Maiara Monsores: We do, we do—just to be sure, just so you guys know, we do do gentle
parenting. We don’t yell at them.
Viktoria Levenberg: Ha ha ha!
No, no haters, please. We don’t want to be pulled into like Parenting Anonymous or something.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, no—we do do gentle parenting. Of course, every now and then, maybe
a little bit of a louder voice might slip here and there,
Viktoria Levenberg: Discipline is needed sometimes.
Ha ha ha!
Maiara Monsores: The yelling normally comes from the—
Viktoria Levenberg: Which I mean—thank you for clarifying! I love how you’re like crossing your
t’s and dotting your i’s. Lesson learned.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, oh God. I mean, when you say stuff about kids, man, it can get quite
crazy. Um, but yeah, I mean, I just—I enjoy when I’m hanging out with those guys. Um, so it’s like
how—and if I can see that I am in a bad space mentally, I’m not just having my full kind of like—
I’m not fully enjoying myself with them or giving them the attention I wanna give them.
So I, yeah—it’s like how do I make everything else in my life help me at those moments that I
really value.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes. Thank you so much for saying that, because you just hit a golden nugget
there. Because you said, “If I’m in a good mental space, then I can enjoy my time with them.” And
this is what it comes back to—so like, even if it is two minutes, or whatever it is that’s possible,
like if you can come back home to yourself…
It’s like—you spoke about the mum guilt, and there’s so much about like dogma around being
selfish and doing things for yourself, blah blah blah blah—but it’s like, you’re actually not doing it
for, like—yes, you are, and through that you are a better parent, you are a better wife, you are a
better friend.
Like, thank you so much for naming that, because it does come back to that. It’s like, find the joy,
come back to that, and also remember your why.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, exactly, yeah yeah—find it, because, you know, ultimately you just
wanna enjoy your life.
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly.
Maiara Monsores: No one’s gonna be here forever.
Viktoria Levenberg: No—and as you say, time flies fast. Um, speaking of time flying fast—we are
also, I can’t believe, pretty much at the conclusion. And I have one last question for you that I’ve
been asking every guest on this show so far, and I’m really intrigued what your answer is gonna
be.
So if there was one thing that resonated with the listeners from our episode, what would that
be?
Maiara Monsores: One thing, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: That they would take away—if there was just like one thing that resonated
with them, that like, yeah, resonates with them for long after the episode ends—what would that
be?
Maiara Monsores: Well, I think it’s a bit of a summary of what we were just talking about. Like,
life will have its turns and changes, and things will get hard and get easier. Um, and I think you
just—yeah, basically, bottom line is you just need to make sure you are enjoying your life, you
know, whatever way that might be.
Like, just making sure you’re having—making your life work for you. Like—and it’s tricky, because
when you are sometimes in a stage that things are not going well, and you might try different
things, and if you’re still not feeling great, it might feel like it’s your own fault—like why you’re
not achieving that, that happiness or being comfortable with yourself.
Um, so it’s not easy. It’s not easy. It’s not like, you know, it sounds like it’s something easy to do,
but it’s an everyday reflection and work. It’s—yeah, it’s not an easy thing to achieve.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
It might—it’s simple, but it’s not easy.
Maiara Monsores: No, no. And yeah, I—you know, you see people going through stuff, and they
do try really hard to bring themselves out and be happy. And it doesn’t always happen straight
away, or, you know, you might need to keep trying different things, which is exhausting. But yeah,
I think everyone ultimately just wants to be happy, right?
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, that’s it—we didn’t come here to be miserable.
Maiara Monsores: Yeah, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Right? If that is how we’re feeling, then take—step into your power, and take
agency, and do something about it. Because we all have choice. We all have choice—even
Maiara Monsores: Ask for help. Talk about it. Yeah, cause yeah—it’s not easy. It’s not easy at all.
Viktoria Levenberg: No,
Maiara Monsores: And you—yeah, you might not get to that point straight away. But you can do
it.
Viktoria Levenberg: You can do it, yes—
Maiara Monsores: whoever is listening to me,
Viktoria Levenberg: Oh my gosh!
And we never know, you know—it’s, um, I am just in awe and reverence for your journey and for
your willingness and openness to share your story. You know, it’s—I love this, because like, you
never know where the conversation’s gonna go, and like the fact that this is what emerged—it’s
like so potent and powerful.
And I know so many people—women, mothers, conscious humans—will really, um, resonate with
what you’ve shared. And I’m just incredibly grateful for you, and you sharing your precious time.
I’m just sending all my love to your little mini-mes and to your husband and—yeah, thank you.
Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Maiara Monsores: No, thank you.
Viktoria Levenberg: Wow. What an episode. I feel so wholesome and complete after this
conversation, because I find that it’s gone in such a beautiful direction that I know will touch
many lives. And, um, I don’t know about you—I’m so touched by Maiara’s story, by her
experience, and, um, you know, also this like unique experience of motherhood during lockdown.
I think there is a real specific group of people that will truly be able to see themselves in that
journey. And one of my biggest takeaways from the episode was sort of what Maiara wrapped up
with—which was, you know, no matter how busy it gets, no matter how wild the hurricane is, no
matter what the chaos is—like, just take care of yourself when you can, in whatever way works
for you.
And reframing that notion of consistency. So like, um, as I mentioned in one of my previous
episodes that I’ll link up in the show notes—Episode 17, I think it is off the top of my head—it’s:
you get to make the rules.
So do it when you can. Make it simple. Make it achievable. But like—do it. The most important
thing is that you do it—you do something for yourself. Because we’re not here to be miserable.
And if you are—well, if your mental health, your physical health—you are feeling as good as you
possibly can given your unique circumstances—that will ripple out into you showing up as an
incredible parent, as an incredible friend, as an incredible wife, husband, partner, as an incredible
colleague.
That ripple then goes out and out further into the world. Like if you even wanna try this on for
me—like, next time you go out in public, whether it’s a coffee shop or a grocery store or
whatever—just smile at a stranger. I do this all the time, I love it. And, like—you just see them
smile. And it happens to me too—like sometimes a stranger will just smile at me, I’m like, “Ah—
that just improved my day.”
Like that’s literally what happens when you just start to take care of yourself. So that’s a little, like,
fun thing for you to play with.
But my actual action step for you is to help you really tune into Maiara’s key takeaway of enjoying
life. Because I understand—you know, and she even mentioned it as well, right? Sometimes, oh, I
see it, I roll my eyes, and go like, “Yeah, whatever.” Um, and I get it.
And that’s because it comes back to like—if your nervous system is dysregulated, and you are
overwhelmed and stressed, and you don’t feel safe, and you are just kind of completely out of
whack—it is really hard for your reticular activating system in your brain—now I’ll touch on that
in another episode because I don’t wanna nerd out for you too much—but it is really hard for
your reticular activating system to perceive things that aren’t immediately related to your survival
right here, right now, which is generally like dealing with whatever the immediate perceived
threat—aka stress, aka life—is.
And um, so to help you start to retrain your brain—and I know you’ve probably heard this a
thousand times—but I’m telling you, it works. There’ve been studies done that show this works.
It’s gratitude practice.
Like this doesn’t have to be intense. It doesn’t—you don’t have to be journaling for hours or
whatever. But I kid you not, if you start a practice—a regular practice—of just bringing your
awareness to, in your day, no matter how chaotic, no matter how intense—one thing, or two or
three, or however many feels good, right—but like, one thing that you are grateful for, that is
good in your life right now—you’re gonna literally start to rewire your brain.
And there have been studies that show that people who focus on what is good in their life start
to see more good in their life. And it works the other way as well—so if you’re constantly like,
grumbling and walking around with a dark cloud above your head, you’re gonna keep seeing
more crappy stuff in life.
So like—you’re not here to be miserable. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. And if that
feels like a really distant, unapproachable future right now, then just start small by being like,
“Okay—well, like amidst everything today, what’s one thing that was good?”
And it could be as simple as: if you have ten fingers, “I’m grateful I have ten fingers so I can do my
job, which pays for my house.” “I’m grateful I’ve got a roof over my head.” “I’m grateful I can have
a warm shower.” Like—it can be really, really basic, um, or it could be really complex. But just
start small.
It is something I do every single day. Um, I write it down because that works for me. You don’t
have to write it down—you could just bring it to your mind awareness. If it helps to have a little
reminder—actually, the way I started was, um, I always had a reminder at 9 p.m. to practice
gratitude. That was literally it. And that just kind of trained my brain, and now it’s automatic.
So yeah, there’s a couple little ideas for you to thread as a key takeaway.
Um, without further ado—thank you so much for being here, for listening to this incredible story.
I am so grateful for you, um, and I hope you have a beautiful week ahead. And I will see you next
week, which—I may feel inspired to nerd out a little bit on our reticular activating system and
give you a little bit more insight into our nervous system and how you can rewire your brain so
that you can see more good in your life, you can feel better, you can be more resilient to the
stressors that come towards you, and enjoy the present moment.
So I’ll see you next week. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day. Lots of love. Bye for now.
Viktoria Levenberg: If you’re enjoying this episode and want to stay connected beyond the
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Viktoria Levenberg: The views and opinions expressed by guests on Resonance are their own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of me, Viktoria Levenberg, LVNHealth, or anyone working
within the LVNHealth brand.
This space welcomes a diversity of ideas, experiences, and stories, and part of Resonance is
learning to take what aligns and gently leaving the rest.
Also, while I am a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and deeply passionate
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Resonance does not substitute personalised medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Always
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