Resonance – Episode 15
Verbatim Transcript
Speaker: Viktoria Levenberg
We never know when these blows from life will come. My nervous system went all the way out
to like being attacked by the tiger in the jungle. I have my survival guide, so why not share it with
others who may also need it when shit really hits the fan for them too?
Wasn't it easier to just like drink your sorrows away?
Welcome to today's episode. And this week, we are going to talk about creating your own
survival guide when shit really hits the fan. Yep. And we are in it, people.
I am currently not feeling at my best whatsoever. I actually feel—whether it's a cold or a virus or
whatever coming on—which is saying a lot considering I generally hold a really high immune
system. And there's a reason behind this. You see, energetically speaking, there's quite a lot
going on right now. It was a full moon in Pisces earlier this week and also a full solar eclipse
season. So quite a lot going on.
For those of you who aren't as familiar with astrology, ah, eclipses are often when quite a bit
comes up and shakes you up either to let go or to kind of show—um—shadows reveal
themselves. Things come up to be worked through basically. And oh dear, did it do that for me
this week.
And it's also springtime, so it's kind of—it’s a time of new beginnings. It's a time of reawakening
from the slumber of winter. And that in itself can often be quite… just a lot, you know? Because
you're kind of creaking and cracking. And imagine that—I just have this visual of like this mama
bear coming out of the hibernation and just starting to remember what it's like to be out there
again. And that's kind of the energy right now.
Um, so look, this week has—I'm not gonna lie—been really intense. I was thrown off centre. And
as I was reflecting on this week, I was like, you know what? I knew what to do. I knew how to
come back to myself. I knew how to recentre myself pretty quickly. Many people don't. And so in
the heat of the moment, while I'm still in the middle of this—you can probably hear it in my
voice, it's a bit nasally, it's a little bit congested—but I was like, you know what? I have my
survival guide, so why not share it with others who may also need it when shit really hits the fan
for them too?
Let’s dive in.
Welcome to Resonance, a podcast for ambitious, heart-led humans craving more balance, depth,
and aliveness in their lives. I'm your host, Vik—health coach, yoga teacher, facilitator, and fellow
high achiever learning to live in tune with my nervous system, not against it.
This space is here to remind you that you can have it all—the career, the success, the
fulfilment—all aligned with your truth. Through honest conversations, expert insights, and
practical tools, we'll explore how to work with your body, mind, emotions, and spirit—not
against them. And the best part? You don't have to stay stuck in survival mode to get there.
Because true well-being is not about being perfect. It's about being in resonance.
Let’s dive in.
Alright, so a little bit of context and setup to what was going on this week. I mentioned I was
really thrown off centre by a situation that really threatened my nervous system. My nervous
system went all the way out to like being attacked by the tiger in the jungle—completely
dysregulated. I was in full sympathetic response. You know, your fight-flight-freeze response like
to the max. And it took me so by surprise—obviously the situation that triggered this, but also
the fact that I responded the way that I did. Because I actually haven't had such a fully blown out
sympathetic nervous system response for a really long time—actually since 2021. We'll come
back to why that is later on.
And imagine all the symptoms. So we're talking insomnia. We're talking heightened anxiety
again. I think panic attacks are really unique and individual, but it was to the point where like my
hands were shaking and my hands were clammy in the mornings leaving the home. Like it was
pretty intense. Impaired appetite—like, uh, again me in the past, I would have just skipped my
meals, but like I had to force myself to eat, but I was not hungry whatsoever.
We're talking psychosomatic symptoms—so like pains in my stomach and like joints and weird
areas of my body. And how's this—my cycle even shifted by a whole week. Like that's insane. I
have not had that happen in the almost two years since I've come off hormonal contraception.
So obviously here's like a real-life, real-time example of how stress—intensely like survival-based
perceived stress—can manifest in the body. And while I am still in the middle of it, as you can
see, like my body is about to shut down to reset and integrate—despite, by the way, just having
had a really blissful holiday—I am bouncing back so much quicker than I would have if I hadn't
had this survival guide, these tools and mechanisms and, you know, practices to bring me back
to centre. And that—that's why like I'm bouncing back much quicker, because I have my survival
toolkit.
And I will walk you step-by-step through what I have done so you can create yours based off of
this real-time, real-life experience.
So I want to preface—first things first—is that we never know when these blows from life will
come. Like, as much as we would like to pretend that we have everything under control, we
don't. We never know what's gonna happen. And therefore, I just wanted to preface this with
the fact that, you know, you just gotta be ready anytime.
And it doesn't mean that we're like, you know, doomsday preppers or anything—in no way,
shape, or form. It just means that this whole time that you take care of yourself in your day-to-
day, and you regulate your nervous system, what that does is it prepares you for these times
when, you know, the sparkles hit the fan.
And it's also really good to have these practices and these habits already ingrained ahead of time
so that then when you are in it—when you're deep in the mud, when you're wallowing through
it—you know, it's normal, it's natural. You know where to come back to because it's already like
either part of your routine or it's, uh, it's familiar and it feels safe.
And this is where I wanna start: safety. Safety. Safety. Number one—always and forever.
Whenever you get thrown off-kilter, establish safety in your nervous system. Because if your
nervous system is feeling a threat to survival—if you don't feel safe—you can try and do
whatever you want, whatever mantras and self-talk and mindset blah blah blah blah. It's not
gonna work if you feel unsafe.
So really, everything I'm gonna share—most of what I'm gonna share today—is actually taking
you back to safety. Um, and the reason behind that is because our ego, which is that monkey
brain that I've spoken about on this podcast before—and I'll make sure to link up the episode for
those of you who haven't listened to it yet—is like wired for survival, right?
So the role of our ego, the role of our monkey mind, is to protect us. Is to make sure that we stay
safe and alive and well at all times. And so, as soon as our nervous system perceives a threat to
our safety, no matter how rational or irrational that may be, right? Um—it shuts everything
down. It prioritises everything to keep you safe.
And it's no design fault, you know? Like, the ego just wants to protect us. It wants to make sure
that we can survive so we can procreate and create the next generation so that the species
survives. So, you know, that's—the safety mechanism is also a big reason for why we exist in this
day.
Um, and so I think, you know, so often we tend to demonise the ego, but in reality it's actually
our friend. And so it's like, how can we work with it and help it when the going gets tough?
And so yeah, whenever there's kind of this perception of fear, of threat, come back to safety.
And let me tell you something here, because a lot of the things that I'm gonna say, you're gonna
perhaps think, "Oh, I already do this," or "No way, like why—why would I do it?" Like there's—
'cause the ego just does it.
Like even now, you might not have known it, but as you've been listening to my voice, you are
thinking and analysing and judging whatever I'm saying—uh—whether it's in agreement with or
in disagreement with what you already know.
Um, but I would invite you to just approach this with an open mind and blank slate, blank page,
new book—and just see how it resonates.
Because I now have had the privilege of a really similar experience in two very different states of
my life. So the last time this happened, as I mentioned, um, I was still in my, uh, pre-healing era.
And so my coping mechanisms would have been all related to numbing.
So whether it is binge drinking, binge eating, binging Netflix, vaping—all the, all the binge things
that take me out of the body, take me out of the experience.
And it was funny because like even my partner, who isn’t in this like health and wellness space,
we were joking about it. He was like, “Oh, like look, wasn’t it easier to just like drink your sorrows
away?” And it’s like, well… like yes, it’s perceived as easier in the moment because you don’t
have to deal with whatever is arising. And at the same time, it’s not sustainable.
Like obviously that was then like, you know, a really ingrained memory and experience. And it’s
probably actually part of the reason why this week I also was thrown off balance so much,
because there was some unprocessed emotion that came up from a few years ago that now felt
safe enough to process.
So this path of like conscious living is for the brave ones, my friend. So like if you are still
listening, you are one of the brave ones and I applaud you. I value you. I respect you. I see you.
And it’s pretty awesome to know that you’re here.
So let’s get into the little step-by-step survival guide that worked for me and hopefully will work
for you.
First things first: feel. I know it might seem so simple and obvious, and yet so many of us have
resistance to this. Feel the feeling. Feel the rage. Feel the sorrow. Feel the grief. Feel whatever’s
coming up, right? Just give yourself unconditional permission to feel.
Yeah. That—that was—I think that was a big difference between this experience and kind of
what happened a few years ago—is the visceral, like, my gosh, just the rage and the blood. It felt
like my blood was on fire.
And I’m gonna tell you something: that sensation, that level of feeling—yes, while it’s scary and
it’s really big and like a lot to hold in that moment and it’s not necessarily comfortable—man, is
that a sign of being alive.
Because we as human beings are here to feel. Like there is no other kind of—kind of—of being
that has such a wide spectrum of emotions as we do. It’s incredible.
So let yourself feel the feelings, even if it’s messy, even if it’s uncomfortable.
And No. 2: right away, verbalise. Verbalise what’s coming up for you with no judgment, no filter,
no shame, no blame, no nothing. Just let it out. Because chances are, when you—when again,
when like sparkles really hit the fan—um, and I’m using the word sparkles because I don’t wanna
swear too much in this episode, ‘cause I don’t wanna have to flag it as explicit—so sparkles, we
know what it means, right?
When sparkles really hit the fan, yes, it will trigger you as your adult self. And also, it’s really likely
that it’s gonna trigger other parts of you—like your inner child or your teenage self or some
other kind of parts of you that maybe have some unprocessed wounds and emotions and
memories that are coming up to the surface.
And those parts of you really demand and want and need to be heard. So verbalise.
And there are so many different ways to do that. Like, um, you could just purge. And there’s a
voice note that you could do—so you could literally just like record a voice note and be like,
“Okay, this is a purge,” and then just for two minutes nonstop, just let it out. Just bleh—like word
vomit. Whatever is coming up. And just keep going. Just don’t stop talking. Just keep going.
You’d be surprised at how healing that can be.
And actually, I will also link up in this video a little audio that I recorded recently, that is me
holding space for you to have the purge. So like throughout the audio, you’ll hear me affirm what
you said and encourage you to go deeper and be like, “Okay, what else?”
This is actually something that I learned from my meditation and manifestation teacher, Emily
Fletcher. And it worked so well for me that I just really, really felt called to pass that down to you.
So that's a really cool tip in terms of verbalising it. Otherwise, you know, it could also be
journaling, venting—um—if you've got someone safe that you know won't judge you to do that
with, awesome. We'll get to that in just a moment as well. But yeah, just verbalising whatever is
coming up.
And No. 3—this is so important. Like, I cannot stress enough how important it is to move.
Because as soon as you enter that sympathetic nervous system state, adrenaline goes through
the roof, cortisol goes through the roof, your heart rate increases, your digestive organs—
basically all the organs below the diaphragm—get shut down. And all of your energy, all of your
life force goes into your heart and lungs and brain. Like, you're basically the essential organs for
survival.
Because what did we do when we—like, well not we—but our ancestors, when they were being
chased by a tiger? They needed to run as quickly as they could to get out of there. And what
three organs do you need to get out of there as quickly as possible? Your lungs, your heart, and
your brain.
Um, so move. Move, move, move. I went for the longest run I had gone on in a really, really long
time. And even then, that still wasn't quite enough. Like, after that, if you can—shake, move,
dance, whatever. Just like, if it feels safe for you, just close your eyes and tune into your body
and move it in a way that feels good.
If you need to turn on a sorrow playlist, turn that on. If you need to turn on a rage playlist, turn it
on. If you need a playlist, let me know—I will send them. I don't have a Spotify account set up at
the moment, but I'm playing with the idea. So if that's something you would like, let me know.
Because I have like oodles and noodles of music. Music is my love language.
So, um, I do personally have specific playlists to listen to when I need to process specific
emotions. But I'm sure that you've got like certain songs that are—um—let something arise in
you. And yeah, that's something that I did as well—I did my little emotional alchemy dance.
And then rest—that's number four. Just rest. Whether that's in the form of just doing nothing,
sitting on the couch, sleeping, laying around in bed, rolling around on the floor. If you meditate,
meditate. That's what I did. Um, just any kind of rest.
Because after you've kind of moved all that energy and you've let a lot of that out, there comes a
time that you then need to go inward and nurture. And I think—now that I actually have the
memory come back to me—it’s… and I went for the run, then did my little like rage dance that
then turned into sorrow dance. Because often our emotions are multifaceted. It's not just one
thing coming up. There's multiple things coming up.
So as I kind of allowed myself to be with what is, I found that as my nervous system started to
down-regulate, there was a need to nurture. Like, and really go inward. And I remember, um,
laying on my yoga mat in a fetal position, wrapped, tucked in my blanket, and just listening to
soothing music. So that's another example of rest. And I meditated afterwards.
So there you go—steps one through four. And then from here, these aren't necessarily linear.
These are just kind of additional things that came up after the fact. So I would just say, like, in
terms of your immediate survival guide, that would be probably my top four:
• Feel the feelings
• Verbalise in a safe way
• Move or shake
• Rest or sleep
Um, like that's probably—I would say—like my… what worked for me.
In terms of immediately closing that stress loop—um, however, obviously this—it was quite a
big, um, event and therefore it required more support and more integration.
So here are some other things that really worked for me, um, that you can add into your survival
guide if they resonate.
One was co-regulation. Um, what is co-regulation? It is when we regulate our nervous system by
association—by being around someone. So whether it's with community, like with like-minded
safe people who, you know, will hear you and won't judge you and will reflect back exactly what
you need to hear. Or even pets, you know?
Like I was definitely giving Piper lots of pats. She's a very energetically attuned dog, so she was
doing a beautiful kind of job of co-regulating with me. That's No. 5.
Number six might seem so silly, but trust me—to your nervous system and to this primal,
instinctual side of you—it’s actually really important. Um, just staying warm. Soft, fuzzy, cuddly,
snuggly—you know, think cosy cosy. Cosy blankets if you have.
I've got like this really soft jumper on, or um, I also have like this really, really soft bathrobe that
just every time I touch it, it soothes me, right? Like, think just like your dog might need a calming
blanket—like so do you. Just warm, soft and cosy. Warm, soft and cosy. Think that.
No. 7: support. Ask for help. So this week, as I was, you know, far from my best—um, a lot of the
routines just went completely out the window. And I—because I had previously verbalised and
co-regulated with my partner—was able to also ask for help and support. And he completely
understood, right?
So even though I'm normally the one to walk Piper in the morning most mornings, I think I
walked her once this whole week. And things like dinner—just like really basic life stuff—you
know what? It was just… it actually felt so nice to be able to lay in bed and be cosy for a little bit
longer and just ask for help. And whatever that means for you.
But yes—support. Ask for help is a really important one.
Number eight is boundaries. That is so, so important. Know who your safe people are, you know?
Just because you are on this path of healing and, uh, integrating doesn't mean that you need to
wear your heart on a sleeve. Um, even if you have reservations—like, you don't owe anyone an
explanation.
Like in this experience that I'm sharing, I actually felt quite backstabbed by a certain person. And,
uh, I just put up a wall. Um, yes—is that a defence and processing mechanism? Absolutely. And
at the same time, that boundary is exactly what I needed in that moment.
So yeah, just know how to differentiate between who your safe people are. And when those
people ask you how you're going, the simple colloquial “I'm fine” will do—so when the not-safe
people ask you that.
Versus when the safe people ask you, you can obviously have the honest, real, and raw
conversation.
And, um, safety can be perceived in different ways, right? Like in terms of safe people, like
obviously trust is really important. But also, um, I would say safety in terms of having the
capacity to hold space for you and be there for you in an emotionally supportive way.
So this is a really great example of it, actually. ‘Cause obviously this is like quite a—you know, this
isn't just a one-day experience. It spanned across, um, the week. And I recall vividly—I think it
was the first day or one of the days anyway, doesn't matter where I was—obviously still super
dysregulated and going through my process.
And then all of a sudden, my partner—um—got upset at something as well. And obviously, like
he would, because I'm dysregulated and that energy seeps into the household, right?
And at the same time, I knew that I did not have the capacity to be around his dysregulated
nervous system, because my nervous system was already dysregulated enough. I was having a
hard enough time dealing with and navigating that, that like—I didn't have the ability to like hold
space for him as, say, we do in our normal day-to-day life.
And so what I did is I just retreated into my room and was by myself. And while he worked
through his stuff, I was then able to do my process and then come back in and reintegrate.
Versus, say, like literally a day later, he was in a really completely different nervous system
state—super responsive, super receptive, super supportive—just everything I needed.
And I—by the way—obviously give gratitude to your safe people, because they're amazing.
When I say safe people, I don't just refer to like, “Oh, I trust this person, not that person,” but
also like be conscious of what's going on for them and their inner world. Because even though
you might be having a hard time, they could as well. And they might not have the bandwidth,
perhaps, to be your safe person in that moment. So just be conscious of that.
Number nine: be gentle. Be gentle with yourself. Just—just softly. Easy. Easy, easy, okay?
Because when we get dysregulated and we get into that sympathetic nervous system response—
yes, you are dealing with the situation in the moment. And at the same time, you are also most
likely dealing with some historical events, whether they have been conscious or unconscious.
And perhaps even—stay with me here—some ancestral or collective experiences as well.
Now what do I mean by that?
You see, our body speaks in sensation. So when you then feel that feeling—so let's say for me, as
I go back into the memory bank—it was really… there was a lot of rage, yeah? A lot of anger.
There was fear. There was guilt. Grief. So it was a whole melting pot of emotion.
And in this particular scenario, it brought back a really specific memory that hadn't been, I would
say, fully processed. Which is probably why this experience was so elevated in its way.
So you could be dealing with what's happening right now and also like specific memories that felt
similarly but you hadn't fully processed and integrated yet. And then it's like double—twice the
fun.
This is why I always speak about like just feel your feelings, integrate, close the stress loop.
Because otherwise, you're gonna eventually have to deal with it whether you like it or not.
So that's one thing. But the other thing which was really interesting that came over the top of it
was childhood experiences and feelings of—particularly like—I got bullied quite a lot when I was
in school. And so that came up. So a lot of that pain surfaced.
And on top of that, there was then also—I think definitely—ancestral stuff going on. Particularly
because I restarted my ancestral karma frustrations practice around that same time. And I was
like, well, look at that. Universe: she asks, she delivers.
So for example, like a lot of the rage that I felt—as I tuned into it—like yes, there was a lot
coming from this specific situation and from me. And at the same time, I could also feel the
unprocessed rage of my ancestors living in my body.
Which, um, if you haven’t listened to the episode that I talked on that, I’ll definitely link it up
below as well so that you get a chance to—because effectively, we hold about seven
generations’ worth of experiences in our body from our ancestors. And also we have the
opportunity to influence up to seven generations ahead from us.
And then lastly, there’s a collective emotion and sensation as well. Um, so quite layered, as you
can see. And so that’s why I am saying: be gentle. You know?
And that’s why it’s also so common for people to numb with whatever it is. Like for me at the
time, it was like alcohol predominantly, and vapes, and food, and TV shows. And now this time, it
was such a parallel because I felt it all. And my goodness, like it was such an interesting
experience.
And my last tip—which I think is No. 10, yes—it is number ten: look… If your inner child or inner
teenager or whoever, whatever part of you needs to rebel—like, ‘cause let’s be real. If you are
dysregulated and you are feeling shaken up, there's probably a part of you that's gonna want to
be a little bit rebellious. Let them—but safely.
And so what I mean by that is, um, in the specific situation that I found myself with, I had to be
really careful and, um, really stay in line, so to speak. And there was definitely a need for my
nervous system to have an outlet for that inner rebel.
And so the way that I did that—which is like so trivial, it's so silly—but it worked, was I just let
some of my non-negotiables slip. Like some of my daily practices, um, that I just didn't do. And I
didn't do some of my, like, daily journaling, which I generally do at morning and night time. And
maybe there were like a couple little things here and there.
Like as you can hear, like they're so trivial, they're so silly, right? But it was just like in that
moment where I was like, “Oh, I should do this,” and then I could like literally just feel my inner
child go like, “No. I'm not going to.” It's literally what it's like. That's basically what's happening in
our head. The more aware you become, the more you notice it.
So yeah, just find a safe way to let out that rebellious self if it needs to come out.
And, uh, so those are my—yeah—I guess this is my 10-step survival guide when the shit really
hits the fan. And I—as I said—I'm still in it. I'm feeling it. It is very much kind of hot off the press,
which is why I thought, wow, this is such a unique perspective to be able to share with someone
who may need to hear it.
And, um, look—it’s only been a few days. And yes, while my body right now is showing signs and
symptoms of fatigue, I know this would have taken weeks, if not months, to process fully had I
gone down the traditional numbing route.
And so through letting myself feel this fully, through letting myself integrate this whole
experience—like yes, I had all the symptoms. My biometrics fell off a cliff. It was like literally
overnight. My Oura ring was like, “Your body is showing major signs of strain, and your heart rate
is through the roof, and your temperature is up, and your heart rate variability—which is
basically your resilience to stress—is down.”
Yes. And it also sped up the recovery process.
So I'm—hopefully this is helpful. Know that this is just my lived experience, so you get to create
your own, right? These 10 steps are just some ideas. Although I would say that the first four—I
highly recommend to fully close the stress loop.
But at the end of the day, it all comes back to safety. Your nervous system just wants to feel safe.
So what is it that you can do to do that?
And so as we wrap this week's episode, my invitation to you would be to pick the strategies that
resonated with you the most and make a note of them—whether it's in a note on your phone, a
sticky note, or journal, or whatever—so that when the sparkles really do hit the fan, you have
that to go back to.
Even better—like, practice these practices now, right? Because the thing is, like, most of these I
actually already do in my day-to-day life. So when it came to it, they were familiar and they felt
really natural as a way to process and integrate the situation.
So that's a—like—a bonus action for you.
And look, if you need someone safe to co-regulate with—because I know that not everyone has
this available to them—you know, it can be hard to find a trusted person, a way-shower that can
really just see you for who you are and unconditionally, with no judgment, just be there and
witness your experience without trying to fix it or solve it or, I don't know, give advice or
whatever. But just someone who has the capacity to hold your emotional experience.
I'm here.
And you see, the reason I'm also sharing this is that I only get to guide you as far as I have gone.
And so it is in my own inner work that I then develop and build capacity to hold more for you.
And so it's an honour and a privilege to—I have walked through this experience with you.
I hope that this has been helpful. I'm so grateful for you. And I hope you have a beautiful rest of
your week.
Bye for now.
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