Resonance – Episode 4
Verbatim Transcript
Speaker: Viktoria Levenberg
Guest Speaker: Lilianne Mendes
Lilianne Mendes: Everything needed to be perfect. I was so tired, so exhausted, and I don’t know, I just couldn’t stop. I didn’t have space for myself. I was always on this go-go mode. I had to change, something needs to change here.
Viktoria Levenberg: And you said that you have more time than you did before.
Viktoria Levenberg: Alright, stay with me because in today’s episode you are going to hear a dear friend, Liliane, share her journey from gut-wrenching 10 out of 10 pain to a life of freedom and joy. And I promise this one is a goodie. So get cosy, sit back, and enjoy.
Viktoria Levenberg: Welcome to Resonance, a podcast for ambitious, heart-led humans craving more balance, depth, and aliveness in their lives. I’m your host, Vik—health coach, yoga teacher, facilitator, and fellow high achiever learning to live in tune with my nervous system, not against it.
This space is here to remind you that you can have it all—the career, the success, the fulfilment—all aligned with your truth. Through honest conversations, expert insights, and practical tools, we’ll explore how to work with your body, mind, emotions, and spirit, not against them. And the best part—you don’t have to stay stuck in survival mode to get there. Because true well-being is not about being perfect. It’s about being in resonance. Let’s dive in.
Viktoria Levenberg: I’m so excited to introduce you to Liliane. She is a fellow health coach. She has also done the same health coach training program as yours truly, and we actually met through a dear friend, Zack Bodenweber's Self Explorers Club, where we kind of started to connect and hop on little curious calls before actually joining a coaching program together, where we really got to know each other much, on a much deeper level.
And I’m so excited to share Liliane’s story because up until just now today, I actually didn’t know the depth of the intensity in the background of her experience and her transformation. And there is so much that I personally resonate with from what she shared. I know that you definitely will too. I can almost see myself in Liliane in those moments where she’s going to their doctors and they’re telling her that she’s fine, she just needs to stress less. And just that overwhelm and the exhaustion really, really strikes me deeply.
So it’s so incredible to see how at the end of the day we are all human. We share this one lived experience with our own little flavouring and our own little way. Enjoy the episode. I really am so grateful to be able to share this with you.
Viktoria Levenberg: Welcome, Liliane.
Lilianne Mendes: Thank you so much for being here. Hello Vicky, thanks for inviting me. It’s a pleasure to be here, and I’m so honoured to talk to you today.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, me too. And as I mentioned earlier, you’re like the first guest that I’m inviting onto the podcast, and it just feels so special that we share this connection of both being health coaches, both having our own journeys that we’ve been on, and having this path bring us together here now.
And I would just love for you to introduce yourself a little bit. Just give a bit of an overview of who you are, what you do, before we dive in.
Lilianne Mendes: Okay, so I’m Liliane. I live in Brazil, so we are like far apart. I’m on Friday night and you are on Saturday already. So I started my journey as a health coach some years ago. I decided to study about nutrition to help me with my difficulties with food. So that’s when I started to change.
And my gut is my alarm system, and when something is off it’s the first to inform me, and I kept ignoring this. My body signalled so often and I got disconnected. After I got divorced I started experiencing these gut issues, and I went to several doctors and everything seemed fine—except that I was dealing with a nameless, undiagnosed pain.
And I had some restrictive diets for some times, but it wasn’t sustainable long-term, you know. And I found myself in this stress cycle, overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings, and turning to food for a sense of control and comfort, and then ending up feeling guilty, shame, and experiencing pain again.
I was always on this go-go mode after I experienced some rock bottoms in life, leaving me completely exhausted. So I said, I had to change. Yes, something needs to change here.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, so it sounds like you’re saying this really powerful message that you’ve been receiving from your body, right, of your gut being your alarm system. Like, what a blessing to have that internal alarm system and to have the awareness that you have, right, because it probably took time.
As you say, there’s been periods in your life where you were go-go-go and constantly stressed, and then using food as a self-soothing mechanism. And I would love to hear when the very first time was that you noticed that things started to feel off for you. Was it overnight or was it like a gradual transition?
Lilianne Mendes: I don’t know if it was slow, but not that slow for me, you know. I remember after I got divorced, things went off for me. So it was when I first experienced pain in that level, and everything was overwhelmed, of course, for me at that time. So I was dealing with a lot of things together.
Life started to be different for me. So I had to take care of my house, my son, deal with my feelings, and deal with his feelings. Yeah, and work, and all that routine that we have in and out, in and out. So to balance everything, life was difficult.
So I remember visiting doctors frequently started at that time. And nobody—everything was okay. They kept saying to me, “You need to stress less.” And I said, “How do I do this thing? Haha, right?”
Viktoria Levenberg: Just do it, haha. Just stop stressing.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. Just do it. It seems simple, but it wasn’t for me at that time. I didn’t know how to do things differently. So I started to, I don’t know, find different things to deal with that—therapy. That’s when I started doing therapy and started to name emotions and feelings.
And I started to hear what they wanted to say to me, and it was a long, long journey. So I started from that, and I started adding more tools like breathwork and, what else, shadow work, and yeah, it was like the beginning of Family Constellation. And I kept—I was so interested about this thing, and to understand the body, to understand the mind was something that fascinated me. And I kept going and going deeper and deeper, and I can’t stop anymore.
Viktoria Levenberg: Once you get on the train, you’re on the train for life, right? And as you say, it’s like such a slow ongoing process and the journey, and you know, the further along the train route you go, the more you realize that it’s a lifelong adventure. Right?
And thank you so much for sharing so intimately and vulnerably this really challenging transition in your life. And I can see it in your face and hear it in your voice as to how deep and intense that was for you. And I would love to understand, because you shared about how it kind of started to manifest itself as physical symptoms, and then you started to dig deeper and seek the help.
And if we take it back to the physical symptoms, because this is where most of us start—whether it’s a whisper or a scream, depends on what we need it to be—you mentioned you were experiencing such intense pain. Like, could you tell us a little bit, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad was the pain? What were you experiencing in that moment, if that’s okay for you to share?
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. I could say it was increasing, and I can say that there were times I would say ten. There were periods in my life that I definitely say that it was so intense, and I didn’t know what to do. So when you are facing this hard situation in life, we are out of clarity and it’s all challenging.
So on the surface I was experiencing fatigue, low energy, and food intolerances, and then thyroid dysfunction. And the symptoms kept growing and getting tense. But deep down, through an honest reflection, I found it challenging to let go of old narratives. I was always overthinking and intolerant with my mistakes, with my imperfections, and saying no to others was hard for me.
I lost these healthy boundaries in my relationships, and it was funny that I didn’t have healthy boundaries in my gut too. So I started to leak, and by this process I got overwhelmed by everything.
It’s as we do one thing, we do everything, right?
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly, yes. The way you do one thing is how you do everything.
Lilianne Mendes: So that’s when I started. This process was slow, but gradually making changes. And the pain was the same.
Viktoria Levenberg: Hmm, and a 10 out of 10 is a lot.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, because sometimes you said, “Oh my gosh, I can’t stand this anymore.” And what can I do here for me? Something needs to change. And we will usually change when we experience pain.
Lilianne Mendes: Yes, it doesn’t need to be louder as this, but yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: But I guess that’s perhaps what you needed, right—for life to really shake you up. Because I feel like if we’re truly honest with ourselves, there likely are little whispers and little nudges from life before we really need to get to that extreme level of scream.
And sometimes, many of us, like myself included, are just so in our tunnel vision, in our silo, that we just keep going, we keep doing exactly as we are, pushing it down more and more and suppressing until, like you say, that stress bucket overflows and you just leak out of everywhere, right?
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that’s what happens, yeah.
That’s—I begin saying that I, I, I didn’t hear my body signals. So that’s, yeah, how I disconnected, and I couldn’t do it for a while.
Yeah, we keep suppressing our emotion and, uh, there is a time that it has to go out any—any way, anyhow.
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly. It’s like the Mentos and the Coke bottle, you know? At some point you shake it enough, the cap’s gonna explode and fall off.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, exactly.
And then one moment, it’s—it’s funny. I was crying, and then I was thinking, why am I crying? And I keep thinking about—I’m crying for this, and also crying for like old things and, you know, things that passed a long time. But they were there. When something came, it all comes together and gets even more harder. So we have to do it, not just one thing, but many things.
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly. It’s like once that dam lifts, the floodgates open and everything has a tendency of coming up, right? Because in reality, like our body remembers, and it associates, you know, those similar feelings that you described earlier of overwhelm, you know, of stress, of just feeling like you need to be everything for everyone and hold it all together, while on the inside you’re falling apart.
Any other time in your life when perhaps even unconsciously you would have felt like that—like that was then also coming up and out, right? Almost begging for that release. And correct me if I’m wrong—all the while this was happening, all the while you were experiencing all of this pain—you mentioned you were still working, you were taking care of the house, you were taking care of your son.
So you’re still, on the outside, having to be the boss-lady Superwoman that you are. Is that right?
Lilianne Mendes: Right, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: How did you manage that?
Lilianne Mendes: Uh, yeah. Sometimes I think, I said, I—I don’t know, but uh, huh, I did. And actually, I did it pretty well. But I just can say this today because I changed my mindset around, uh, this critical judgment I had of myself.
So it’s nice when we talk about our story. We have space to say that, and we have—we reframe things, and we see things from different angles that we couldn’t see before. I was like saying about failures and everything, like in a bad way, and I couldn’t see the good things that came with that.
So we learn a lot through this process, we grow a lot through this process, and we become a different person. And it’s gold in this situation, in the hard situation—that usually when we grow.
I kept these tools like in a toolbox. So now I can see it differently, pick my—my tools whenever I want. And sometimes one thing doesn’t work. Like, I love meditation, but there were times that meditation wasn’t a thing for me. I just couldn’t do, and I don’t know why.
Viktoria Levenberg: We can be hard sitting with our thoughts and our feelings, right? It’s quite confronting.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. So I did something through the body, like movement and a massage and different things. And it works, because it’s like this communication we have in the mind and the body.
So sometimes when one thing—it’s, it’s difficult, try another one. And yeah, yes, it helps a lot. So we liberate the other thing and put everything on track again.
Viktoria Levenberg: Hmm, yeah. I love the way you’ve put that. We liberate—we let go of something so that we can get back on track. We can let something in new.
And you’re also sharing how like, you try different things on, right? It’s like going shopping. Like, we can go and pick things we like and try them on in the changing room, and some things will fit our body and our skin tone, and some are like, actually no, I’m gonna put that back on the rack, right?
And I think today there’s so many different modalities out there, right? You’ve mentioned a few of them, like family constellations, you know, internal family systems, breathwork. And there are oodles and oodles of modalities, and we just gotta try and see what resonates with us. Because we will all resonate with different things at different times in our life.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. It’s, um, it’s experiment. So yes, it’s—life is like this. Yeah, you try something, it’s not working, you try another one. And maybe in another moment that thing will help you. So you never know. And, um, yeah, it’s like this.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, absolutely.
Lilianne Mendes: That works.
Viktoria Levenberg: Hmm, and I would love to hear, um, kind of a little bit around, you know, you—you alluded to it earlier about, you know, starting to see a therapist and learning how to name and identify and be with your feelings. And, yeah, what—what were kind of the key milestones from this “10 out of 10, I’m in pain, you know, my stress bucket is overflowing,” to—what were those little milestones that started to help you course-correct and begin to reconnect with yourself?
Lilianne Mendes: These things that I told you also—food is the most basic self-care. So I started taking care of, uh, this part. So every day in my life, it becomes like a habit to me. The gut responds very quickly to healthy food choices. But food is not the only thing, the option to comfort us.
I started to find other things, and to comfort myself on these moments, like going to sauna, and yes, because it’s something that helps you rewire your nervous system. And that’s what I needed the most—things like this.
And that’s where it was like these patterns, these old patterns very, uh, deep on me. And to change these stories that we keep saying to ourselves, and we don’t need that anymore. But just bring it a caution to that.
Yeah, okay, bringing light to these things and knowing that how we think—we can start doing things differently. Yes.
Yeah, that’s when I told you, take my story, start to see from different angles, having more options, letting go some things and having space for new ones to arrive. Things that I didn’t know, I didn’t experience often.
And sometimes we just think things have to be difficult, and, you know—and it’s not. It’s not, it’s not true. Things can be easy. Things can be—yeah, we can feel joy.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes! That is music to my ears. Yes, keep going.
Lilianne Mendes: That’s when I realized it wasn’t just poor food choices that were affecting me, but my thoughts affecting my health too.
So—and I didn’t know that. I started working on that too. Uh-huh. So things like waking up and setting intentions for my day. Because if you have an intention, usually something positive, so you start your day feeling good. And that gives you direction.
Every time, yes, something happens, and I said, it’s where I go back there—what’s my purpose of today, what’s my intention of today. And it helps me stay calmer again.
Viktoria Levenberg: Mm-hmm. It’s like your compass, right? Like you set that direction, and as you navigate throughout your day—like, we don’t know what’s gonna happen. Things happen, some things we enjoy, some things not so much. And as you set that intention, you can always course-correct and come back to that direction that you want to move towards.
Yeah. And I love how you also mention the fact that, yeah, darkness only exists in the absence of light, right? And so as soon as you start to shine the light, take your torch and bring that awareness into the darkness, it’s no longer dark because the light—it’s the light shining, right?
And from that awareness comes choice, which is where you said you started to make different choices. And particularly when you say the thoughts and that inner voice, like I would love, if you’re open to sharing a little bit about this.
And I ask this because I personally had a really similar experience. Like, I was such a bitch to myself in—in there, in my head. And I had no idea until you kind of shine that light. Yeah.
And what was that like for you? Like, it might feel really weird and foreign now, but is there any kind of memory of how you used to talk to yourself? And then what changed to give yourself permission to finally self-care first?
Lilianne Mendes: This voice was really a critical, critic voice—very intolerant. So everything needed to be perfect. If I didn’t do my to-do list completely during the day, I, I couldn’t, no—you know, sleep before I do everything. So I had a goal, I had to do everything. I have to, you know, everything should be perfect.
And I have to work, and I have to go to pick up my son at school, and I have to do dinner, and everything together. And I didn’t have space for myself.
That’s when I started to stop going to gym, stop going to practice yoga, turning to food that it’s not very, um, nutritious, and you know, that cycle that it’s not so good. These things were the first things to get out of my—my daily life. And we start experiencing more pain because of that, because if I—I couldn’t relax anymore.
And just because of this voice, this critical voice, that didn’t allow me to stop and to take a moment for me. I was so tired, so exhausted, and I don’t know, I just couldn’t stop. Why do I do this to me all the time, you know?
And this became a pattern, because I was doing more and more and more tasks, doing everything for everybody. But at a point, I couldn’t finish everything, and I was frustrated, and that got even worse.
I was mean to me when I was in this dialogue. You know—you can’t do this, you’re not good enough. And this kind of things that keeps—your mind keeps repeating to you, and you don’t say ever to anyone.
Viktoria Levenberg: Hmm, exactly. And often you don’t even notice that it’s—it’s unconscious, right? And like you say, it’s that self-fulfilling prophecy. Like you’re doing everything, you can’t sleep because the to-do list isn’t done, so you’re self-criticizing yourself.
And then because you’re criticizing yourself, you feel like you’re not good enough, so you’re doing more to prove yourself to others. So then you’re exhausted, and you see, it just—the cycle repeats and repeats and repeats, right?
Lilianne Mendes: It doesn’t end. You go like this.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, it doesn’t end. And then it ended for you. You—you chose to go differently. And you chose to go down a different path. Which is very brave.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, I chose because—because of that pain. Because the pain was too loud. And sometimes I was thinking, I don’t know how to do it, but I’ll figu re it out. So, yes, let’s keep moving, let’s keep, um, paying attention to things.
And that’s when I started reconnecting with my body—go inside me and check, and scan my body and check what I was really feeling. Things started very slowly again.
And when I was feeling something, I started listening to this. And I kept that feeling for a moment and, uh, started making questions: what do you want from me? And that’s when I start experiencing more clarity in this process.
When I accepted everything was in the right place at the right time, and, um, fully accepted our feelings without choosing a side, without labelling them as good or bad, and stayed with it—enough to wait for the unknown to take shape, or unfold naturally.
Yeah. And it’s not easy, but it’s freedom that we experience after that. Yeah, it’s so good.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes—freedom versus pain. With awareness comes choice, and you chose the freedom to overcome the pain.
Hmm. Yeah, and the body is listening. Like you say, that all of it—we tend to live up here in our head. And yet, as you say, the gut—I mean, there’s research and science coming out now about like neurotransmitters being found in the gut. I think it’s fascinating. And in the heart as well, you know, like how we are just like this one big network of communication.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah.
It’s, yeah, really visible, even through your story and your journey. And I would love to hear, you know—like hearing just the depth of transformation that you’ve gone through.
And, uh, you know, I only met you in, I guess, this kind of new version of you, so to speak, as you’re already coming out the other side. So I only see this glowing, gorgeous, free, outspoken woman. And I would just love to hear, like—what does your self-care practice look like, day to day now?
Lilianne Mendes: What—what I do daily for my self-care, yeah. Yeah, okay. Like I said, food is something that—and I, I like putting like a playlist that I like. Uh, yes.
So I, I can, uh, forget about the next task and practice being present, which is something challenging for me. So I have to practice this a lot.
And I love cooking and listening to music.
What else do I do? Reading. I love reading, talk to friends—yes, whenever I, I can on the phone or even together, get together, it’s better.
Massage. I, I went this morning for massage. I said, what, what do I need today? I said, oh yes, it’s gonna be fine for—for me. So asking, asking this, uh, what I—what I need.
Because sometimes I just need to go out and play and do silly things, you know. And other time I need to be in silent and have a tea, and that’s it, yeah. Watch a movie and stay—stay home. I love staying home.
Viktoria Levenberg: Uh huh, I feel you. I’m a homebody.
Lilianne Mendes: My plants, yeah. Taking care of the plants and these kind of things. Simple things that, um, makes us feel good.
Viktoria Levenberg: And I love that you share that, because so often—again, if we’re coming purely just from the head, we tend to overcomplicate these things and think like, I need to have this impeccable routine, and if I don’t do it, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
And it’s like, we don’t realize it’s actually that inner perfectionist coming back to play that’s holding us back. Whereas, as you say, like actually tuning inwards and asking yourself, what do I need right now, and then giving yourself exactly what you need.
Like one day it’s a massage, another day it’s just a cup of tea and a cosy blanket. And that’s just so beautiful and so profound because it’s the simple things in life that are actually the most precious moments we tend to gloss over.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. Beautiful.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, it is. Um, and look, as we kind of come full circle—um, I—a lot of the listeners here are, you know, in a similar position of being like really busy, corporate, overwhelmed, overworked, just trying to do a million things at once.
And probably unconsciously or consciously beating themselves up about not doing all the things, um, as you and I have done in the past. I would love to hear how your relationship to work has changed. And what is that like now?
Lilianne Mendes: It changed a lot. A lot. Because as I said, I had this part—partner that I didn’t know, if I have something to be done, I’ll do it. But I was forgetting about myself, and I ended up exhausted so many times.
And I couldn’t continue with this anymore. So after I realized that—and I suffered a lot because of that—I had to change. So before, I was, uh, considering this full day, it was nice, always keeping things to be done.
And now I just have more, how can I say—have time to do things that I like. So do things that I love to do in respecting my rhythm and, um, connecting my values to my work. Yeah.
It’s something that changed a lot for me. So I don’t go when things just happen. Now I try to create this space that I was craving, like this calm and peaceful environment. It’s so good to have—to allow myself to have this opportunity to do things differently, you know.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yes, yeah. And like you say, creating your own reality, creating your own environment, right? Like on the external, nothing’s changed, right? You still go to work, you still have your task, it’s still all the same context or content. But the context has changed.
You have changed in the way you approach it and your values. And you are now living in coherence with the way you wanna live. And you know, again, this journey of life is never-ending. So even when things may kind of go astray and we take the side road, you can—you then have your compass to come back to and recalibrate and to make sure that you’re back in resonance again.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, right. And it—and it’s nice, because, nice because when you, you see and you pay attention, you are doing things differently. Uh, as I was at the supermarket and I was looking at my, uh, things that I put, uh, to buy, it was completely different from, uh, some time ago. And everything was green, colourful. And I said, oh my gosh, is that me doing it?
Yeah. And when I, when I see, and I’m being grateful, like in the end of the day when I, I—I was thinking about it, and I saw that things is, uh, is different for me. And it is a new habit. And yeah, we learn different things, and we can do this from a different mindset just by doing it and keep doing and being constant.
And of course, you’re gonna go back and do all this stuff sometimes, but you see that you are making some changes and doing things differently. And it’s nice, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: The magic is in the consistency. And yeah, also just the kindness to ourselves, right? Yeah. Being okay with sometimes things going astray, because we’re human. Like, perfection is an illusion.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, for sure. So sometimes, uh, the self-care, it’s just—I’m saying to myself that it’s okay not having everything figured out all the time. And it’s okay to have not that to-do list done by the end of the day.
And this is really a self-care and a self-loving practice for me. It helps me a lot. So I’m doing this more frequently.
Viktoria Levenberg: The to-do list will never end. Like, you know, we—we take one thing off, and we always add things on. And there’s always gonna be more unread emails, and always gonna be more meetings and more things to do, and something to clean around the house. Like, it’s a never-ending story.
And so many of us tend to—and, and again, like I say this because I’ve been there as well, right, like myself included—of just thinking, okay, well, when I finish this, then I can be happy. Or like, when I tick this next item, then I can rest.
It’s like, actually when you flip it on its side and be like, actually, what do I need right now? Give myself that, and then deal with whatever needs to be done later. Like, at the end of the day, it’s all just made up anyway.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, that resonates with me.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, yeah. I’m really grateful.
Lilianne Mendes: I was, I was like this all the time, and I had to finish before I go to sleep. And sometimes I, I started doing a work and I keep going too late at night. And then I, I can’t sleep well, or the other day I will be so tired.
And that things, I had to change my routine so to—for me to work better and like not getting exhausted and fatigue all the time. So all this thing, um, having time for movement, for—I, I like going running outdoors in nature or something like this.
So having time for things that will make me feel great. And then I can be more productive, and, uh, and if I’m not, that’s fine too. Because there are some days we are not that, you know.
Viktoria Levenberg: Uh huh.
Lilianne Mendes: Um, yeah, we want to do, but yeah, that’s okay. So the other day I will catch up everything and, and, and do it, uh, the way better than if I was planning to do so.
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly. And you’re just listening to your body in the moment. And it’s that notion of time—I actually really wanna come back to this, because you mentioned it earlier when you were talking about your work.
And you said that you have more time than you did before. And isn’t that like magical, how we, by taking care of ourselves, by making sure that we empty our stress bucket and our cup is full, we actually get more done in a shorter amount of time?
Because work expands to fill the container that we give it. So if it’s your habit to work until midnight and, you know, kind of not sleep because you’re talking at—you’re thinking about the to-do list or whatever it is, then that’s just what’s gonna keep perpetuating.
Versus if you’re like, well, actually no, because I know I’ve got my massage appointment or I’ve got this exercise class that I’m booked into, you’re like, well, I need to get it done now because I’m going to my class. It’s still getting done.
And it’s probably getting done, as you say, at a better quality, because your brain is more coherent. You are fresher, you are more switched on, and you’re coming from a place of resonance.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. And I’m very sensitive. I, I, um, you know, it’s, uh, emotions are very, um—I feel it.
Viktoria Levenberg: Okay, just a quick break here. If you love these kinds of conversations, you might also enjoy my newsletter. It’s like a breath of fresh air in your inbox—slow, seasonal, and always real.
An email that you actually want to read for a change. If that sounds like your cup of tea, you can sign up below at livinghealth.co, or through the link in my bios at Living Health.
Now, let’s get back to the episode.
Lilianne Mendes: Where were we?
Viktoria Levenberg: Uh, yes. We were talking about time and filling the container that you give it, and taking the breaks as well to make sure you fill up your cup, so that you can go and do your exercise rather than necessarily staying up late and, and worrying about not doing the to-do list, and then being exhausted and tired because you didn’t get the sleep, etcetera.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, that’s it. And it’s better, and we end up, uh, giving priorities to things. And it’s something that I, I didn’t know what to do. Like, a small thing had a big priority for me, as like a very important thing.
So, uh huh, uh, this—this kind of organization, and things got different to me.
Viktoria Levenberg: Uh huh.
Lilianne Mendes: So that’s how we give quality to life. And what is important to me? What is important today? What—yeah. Because there are things, there are people we love, that are things that—the most important things in life.
So these are my priorities.
Viktoria Levenberg: So yeah, yeah. It’s like what actually matters.
Lilianne Mendes: So learn to take care of ourselves as we take care of others—it’s essential. So it’s good for our self-esteem, our self-love.
Yeah, it’s something that I had to learn, and I am still practicing and, yeah, improving on that day by day.
Viktoria Levenberg: Putting your own mask—oxygen mask—first before someone else, right.
Lilianne Mendes: And sometimes when I forget, and that critic comes, and that voice come again, I always have friends around that say nice things to me.
And I said, oh, come on, don’t start that again. It’s not like this. And I remind myself who I am, what I did, and yeah, it did helps a lot.
Viktoria Levenberg: It does—it’s important to be surrounded
Lilianne Mendes: By nice people, yeah, that got me when I’m not in the better days, you know.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, and that’s a way to regulate your nervous system as well, like, you know, sharing your grievances with someone else who’s safe, who can hold that space for you, and kind of be a mirror for you and reflect back maybe what you’re not seeing.
And it’s such a blessing to have these people in your life. My mom always says that—show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are. And I’m like, that’s so powerful. I wonder where she got it from. But it’s so true.
Lilianne Mendes: And we need this safe space. When you feel safe, we can change. Yeah, we can see things differently.
And, yeah, it’s all necessary to be accountable sometimes, giving us courage to keep going and do what we have to do.
Yes, when we are procrastinating things, when we are—we fear change. You know.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah. Fear is sneaky. It can mask itself as procrastination, as perfection, yeah, as boredom, as avoidance. It’s very, very sneaky.
And thank you for naming the importance of safety, because you said when we feel safe, we can start to change. And that is so true.
Because—and I think this is so true for, I guess, you and I, maybe in our story, and anyone else who may be resonating with this. It’s like if you are running on empty, and you are in survival mode, and like barely struggling to get out of bed every morning, it’s highly unlikely that you’re gonna have the capacity to kind of go and do this work, because it takes energy. Yeah, right?
And so if like—if there’s anywhere where perhaps it’s the right place to start, it’s like, well, how can we cultivate a little bit more safety, a little bit of more peace, more calm in our life, even if it’s for one minute?
Like we can close the bathroom door and hide in the bathroom, be like, okay, just give me one minute of peace and quiet. And gradually building on that, so we build up the capacity to change. As you say.
Lilianne Mendes:,We just need like this little things to start and go from there. Uh huh. Whatever it can be for everyone.
And don’t compare ourselves to other. It’s something that for me was—I had to change that, because I was always comparing myself.
Viktoria Levenberg: Uh huh.
Lilianne Mendes: And feeling bad, and no. The improvement I did from yesterday, from the last month, and everything—sometimes it’s huge. And for us to do something that people can say that it’s very little, but for me it’s not.
Viktoria Levenberg: Exactly, exactly. We are all the hero of our own story. And so we just need to focus on whatever our next right step is, like stay in alignment to that, yeah.
And find our tiny little glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel to take whatever next right step is.
That’s so powerful, Lilianne. And as we prepare to wrap up, I would love to ask you like a signature closing question—for the first time, the inaugural signature closing question.
Which is, as you reflect on, you know, our listeners, right—who again, stressed out, busy corporate, mostly women and conscious humans—what’s the one thing from today’s conversation that you hope will resonate with them for a long time, even after this episode ends?
Lilianne Mendes: There are so many things that we said that nice, but I would say that—make choices that will reflect the love, not the fear. And, um, keep with this. It’s nice.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, I’ve got goosebumps. Hahaha.
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah. And, um, thanks for this kind space, this safe space to talk about myself. It’s not, um, something really, um, easy for me. But I love talking to you, and, um, we have so many things that resonate.
Viktoria Levenberg: Yeah, we definitely have so much in common. And thank you for your courage and your openness, for showing up and sharing this. Like, you know, I don’t take lightly how vulnerable it is.
And, um, it’s—it—yeah. The podcast hasn’t launched yet, but just so you know, like one of the first few episodes I’m sharing my story, because it felt—you know, integrity is my No. 1 value, and it didn’t feel right to ask others to do something that I haven’t done myself.
So, you know, kind of having been through that, I really understand the vulnerability that comes with that. And I know in the bottom of my heart that your story will inspire someone so, so deeply.
And even if it’s that one takeaway of choose love over fear—man, what a motto to live by. Thank you for that, Lilianne.
Thank you so, so much for your love, for your time. Um, if anyone wants to get in touch with you, I don’t know if you’d be open to that. Would you like to share your details, like where people can find you on socials, if they would want to work with you?
Lilianne Mendes: Yeah, um, I have a website. It’s Lilianne with double “n,” Mendes dot com. Uh, at Instagram, the same—Lilianne Mendes. And, yeah, that’s that. They can find me there and contact me.
Viktoria Levenberg: Amazing. We’ll link it up in the show notes as well so people can just click the link. So I’ll make sure I get that from you.
Thank you so, so much for being here. Thank you for showing up. And I’m just really grateful—my cup is so full hearing your story. And I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful evening. Haha.
Lilianne Mendes: You too. Thank you, Vicky. Thanks for having me here.
Viktoria Levenberg: Thank you. I love that. Yeah, the feeling’s mutual. And let’s do it again sometime, yeah?
Lilianne Mendes: Let’s do it again. It’s gonna be awesome. Amazing. I love your idea, and your podcast is so interesting and so, um—it’s like we are at home, you know. We have a good conversation, yeah.
Viktoria Levenberg: Wow, this episode really was a goodie. I mean, isn’t it inspiring to hear how someone can go from divorce, being a mom, trying to manage work and a house, and literally have the gut go off as an alarm with 10 out of 10 pain—feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and just completely empty, leaking out of every hole in that stress bucket—that it is possible to this life of freedom and ease and joy and alignment.
And ability to be able to come back to oneself and ask, what do I need today? And then give that to yourself.
So yeah, Lilianne’s story really inspired me—the way she overcame her inner critic, and the way she still manages that inner critic even in the day-to-day.
So really, some of my key takeaways are: you know, we gotta meet ourselves where we are. My invitation would be for you to find your glimmer of hope. What is that one thing that you can start to do to create a little bit more safety in your body, in your life?
And her resonant message of choosing love over fear is so, so powerful. It’s like whenever you come to make the next choice, perhaps you just pause and ask yourself, am I choosing out of love or out of fear?
And watch your life start to shift.
And look, life is a journey, right? Like, we’re all these sailors on a big boat, traversing this ocean of the unknown. And the importance of that compass, and being able to be guided in the right direction.
And always, yeah, of course we may sway one or two degrees off course—that’s okay. You remember to readjust and realign your steering wheel, so you continuously move towards the life that you wanna live—living in resonance, living in alignment, living in coherence with yourself.
Thank you so much for listening. I would really invite you to share if you’ve got any reflections, any thoughts, any questions. Please send me a message, or leave a rating, or a comment.
And in the meantime, as always, the door is open to you. So if hearing Lilianne’s courage and her story has inspired you to say, hey, you know what, I’d actually also love to share my story—maybe someone out there needs to hear it, so that I can inspire them and they can see me as that little beacon of light, that glimmer of hope that helps them make the next right step—then I would love to have you on.
This space is really open and welcome for all. I’m here for you, sending you lots of love in the meantime. Thank you for being here. Bye bye.
Viktoria Levenberg: Alright, listen to this. I get asked by overworked, overwhelmed, burnt out, high achievers how they can release their stress without sacrificing their productivity all the time.
And that is because I have been one of them. I’ve been able to heal my relationship with stress, all the while increasing my energy, and achieve more than ever before at the same time.
So for the very first time ever—I’m so excited about this—I am going to be pulling together and teaching a really small, intimate, select group of students how to detox from stress, so that you can say bye-bye to burnout and overwhelm.
And instead, you can skyrocket your energy levels, all the while being more productive than ever before—with ease. Doesn’t that sound amazing?
So if that’s something that you’re interested in, if you are done struggling with stress and overworking, and you’d like to be a part of this special training, send me a message and let’s have a chat. I’d love to see you there.
Viktoria Levenberg: The views and opinions expressed by guests on Resonance are their own, and do not necessarily reflect the views of me, Viktoria Levenberg, LVNHealth, or anyone working within the LVNHealth brand. This space welcomes a diversity of ideas, experiences, and stories. Part of Resonance is learning to take what aligns, and gently leaving the rest.
Also, while I am a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and deeply passionate about well-being, this podcast is intended for educational and inspirational purposes only. Resonance does not substitute personalised medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Always seek guidance from qualified professionals for any physical, emotional, or mental health concerns.
